He’d been surprised a few minutes earlier when he tried to put on some music and ended up hitting play on A Colony in A Nation, which I’d been listening to. I kept my eyes on the road, not sure I wanted to see his reaction to my reading choices. I didn’t want him to think I was only doing it to impress him or something.

“I’ve just been thinking there are things I need to get some perspective on, so I asked Pri to recommend some books. You know she has every opinion on everything.”

I looked over and saw him nod. “I was just surprised. I mean clearly these are topics that are important to me. I’m happy to talk about them with you anytime.”

I thought about that for a moment as I drove up to the turn for the stable. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t value his thoughts on this, but I wanted him to know I didn’t feel like it was his job to enlighten me on things that it was my job to be aware of. “I want to come to you when I feel like I have more knowledge about the things I need to understand.” I looked at him then. “The more I’m with you the more it’s sinking in that I could’ve lived my whole life being a quote unquote good guy, without ever having to think about the true history of my own country, or my privilege,” I scoffed, feeling embarrassed, but compelled to continue. “If you don’t have that luxury, then neither should I.”

He swallowed hard and then in a very quiet voice said, “I think you’re a good prosecutor, Easton, and I’m glad you’re doing this. It’s necessary.”

I did turn to look at him for what I wanted to say next. “There is too much I’ve not thought about enough and it embarrasses me because I wonder how it’s impacted my ability to do my job.”

“You’re doing it now, and that matters.” That was all he said, but there was a relief in his voice, like this had reassured him of something.

I didn’t quite know what that meant, but thankfully our arrival at the stable put the conversation to rest.

“We’re here.”

Patrice still had a faraway expression as I powered off the car. As soon as we stepped out I knew that my big plan was going to be a bust. I looked over at Patrice, whose teeth were chattering despite being bundled up in a heavy coat, gloves, scarf and hat.

“Shit, I think it’s too cold,” I said, looking around at the stable parking lot and noticing that other than the owner’s truck it seemed no one else was here.