I remembered my grandfather was waiting for an answer and I sat in a chair next to his wheeled one so we could be eye to eye, taking the hand he gave me. His skin felt papery and delicate these days, a little more frail each time, but those eyes told me he was well aware there was something I needed to get off my chest.

“I’m just asking more questions, I guess. Not taking things as a given, making myself see what I don’t want to see.” I tried to pull the words out, because that was sort of the rub of it all, not voicing the things that bothered me. “It’s new for me to feel like I’m inconvenient.”

Grandpa made a sound of understanding and gripped my hand tighter. “You really are tangled up. You’re usually on the other side of this conundrum and you certainly don’t pine.”

My grandfather, as always, saw too much, and soon I had Emma as an audience too. What he said was true: I was so past my usual playbook when it came to Patrice I had no clue where I was. If I had any sense, I’d just give up on things.

Except I hadn’t imagined how his hands trembled on my face as he kissed me.

“I’m not sure if this is the right person for me. Being with me is complicated for him. I think it feels like he’s compromising his ideals.”

“Are these ideals worth sacrificing yourself for?”

“Yes.” I thought about Tyren, Ari, Ron and the fact that, to me, what was happening in town was a concern, even an inconvenience, but to them it was a real threat. No, Patrice’s inner struggle about us was not completely unwarranted. Still, I looked at my grandfather, hoping he had some magical solution to my problem.

“Then don’t make him.” The tightening in my gut at the finality in his words confirmed I’d been lying to myself all morning. I had not given up on having something with Patrice.

My grandpa’s strong grip snatched me back to his attention. “It’s not about giving up, son, it’s about you letting him know that his ideals are valuable to you too.” He held up a hand as I was about to refute his solution. “I know that you’ve probably said so to him, but you can’t just say it, you need to figure out a way to actually let him see it. Meet him halfway, just make sure he and you both know that keeping you is worthwhile too.”