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Back Always Crew Save as PDF
Chapters (69)
  1. Prologue
  2. Chapter One
  3. Chapter Two
  4. Chapter Three
  5. Chapter Four
  6. Chapter Five
  7. Chapter Six
  8. Chapter Seven
  9. Chapter Eight
  10. Chapter Nine
  11. Chapter Ten
  12. Chapter Eleven
  13. Chapter Twelve
  14. Chapter Thirteen
  15. Chapter Fourteen
  16. Chapter Fifteen
  17. Chapter Sixteen
  18. Chapter Seventeen
  19. Chapter Eighteen
  20. Chapter Nineteen
  21. Chapter Twenty
  22. Chapter Twenty-One
  23. Chapter Twenty-Two
  24. Chapter Twenty-Three
  25. Chapter Twenty-Four
  26. Chapter Twenty-Five
  27. Chapter Twenty-Six
  28. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  29. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  30. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  31. Chapter Thirty
  32. Chapter Thirty-One
  33. Chapter Thirty-Two
  34. Chapter Thirty-Three
  35. Chapter Thirty-Four
  36. Chapter Thirty-Five
  37. Chapter Thirty-Six
  38. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  39. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  40. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  41. Chapter Forty
  42. Chapter Forty-One
  43. Chapter Forty-Two
  44. Chapter Forty-Three
  45. Chapter Forty-Four
  46. Chapter Forty-Five
  47. Chapter Forty-Six
  48. Chapter Forty-Seven
  49. Chapter Forty-Eight
  50. Chapter Forty-Nine
  51. Chapter Fifty
  52. Chapter Fifty-One
  53. Chapter Fifty-Two
  54. Chapter Fifty-Three
  55. Chapter Fifty-Four
  56. Chapter Fifty-Five
  57. Chapter Fifty-Six
  58. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  59. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  60. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  61. Chapter Sixty
  62. Chapter Sixty-One
  63. Epilogue
  64. Another Epilogue
  65. Acknowledgements
  66. For More Reading
  67. Don't miss out!
  68. Further Reading: The Boy I Grew Up With
  69. Also By Tijan

I kept on, needing both men to hear what I had to say. “I knew Channing was worried about you coming to see me. It was a whole big thing. And my employers were worried because you were connected to the Red Demons, but in all of that when you actually did come, I didn’t know how to feel about it. I didn’t know how to feel about any of it because there are not good memories between you and me. Not in that house. Not when Mom died. Not when you fought with Chan so much. But I think, now after having some time to process because I know I snapped a little, but you killed the guy so easily in front of me. And you did it for me, but you also did it because he touched your daughter. And you were kind in that moment to me, gentle even, and it was like that one thing wiped out all the bad and I didn’t know how to think about any of it. But, Dad, you left me alone so much of the time.” I closed my eyes, taking a moment for myself.

The years. The memories. Mom laughing. Channing yelling.

The door being slammed shut.

The quiet after.

Always the quiet after.

“When you went away, a part of me thought you just wanted a way to get away from me.”

“Bren, honey.” His voice didn’t sound familiar to me, not anymore. That was a stranger, but he sounded regretful. He sounded kind.

“I thought that I didn’t deserve a family, and that’s why Channing left, why Mom died, and why you went to prison. Then I had the guys, but it took a long time before I let them in. But, Dad. They’re in. I’ve let them. I’ve let Channing back, and I’ve slowly started to believe that I am worthy to have people love me.”

“Sweetheart.” A chair was pulled out, scraping over the patio floor. He reached for me, but paused, remembering the last time I was touched. His eyes closed. He was struggling. A battle of emotions played out over his face before those eyes opened once more, and I saw the same haunting there that I’d felt for so many years. “I’d like to hold your hand. Can I do that, Bren?”

I stared back. Steadily. Then I shook my head. “No, but it means a lot that you asked, and it means more that you want to.”