Fortunately, I'd left enough space between my fingers to catch the important words. "Yuck," I said, thankful that Iowa is landlocked.

"Margi said he was pretty proud of that hoho a his. Called it his 'Pile Driver.'" She slipped into a moment of nostalgia. "We called your grampa's 'Mr. Handsome.' It had lots a personality. Before the prostate problem, he could even make it do tricks."

I'd named my husband's, too. "Rover." But after he'd started stepping out on me, the only trick it could perform with any regularity was the one where it rolled over and played dead.

"I don't mean to rush you, dear, but you better grab some breakfast before the food's all gone."

A diversion. I could use a diversion. Considering my tension level at the moment, food was a good choice, especially food at the breakfast buffet in a four-star hotel.

I started salivating as I squeezed around chairs enroute to the buffet table. I thought I'd start with hot buttered toast and a sweet roll, then move on to scrambled eggs, pancakes with maple syrup, bacon, sausage, and smoked salmon if they had any. A twinge of conscience made me rethink my choices. Okay, maybe out of respect for the dead, I'd forgo the sausage. But only for one morning.

I grabbed a plate and lifted the cover of a huge silver serving tray. Empty. I lifted the cover of the next tray. Empty as well. I caught the eye of the waiter with the buns of steel. "Where are the bacon and eggs?"

"No no." He made a sweeping gesture toward the rest of the table.

"Are they all gone?"

"Gone? Yes, gone." And before I could ask another question, so was he.

I proceeded down the table. I passed a bread basket that was empty save for a pair of tongs. A glass bowl that was half-full of Elmer's Glue. A bowl that was full of Elmer's Glue with raisins. A platter with one slice of cheese that was curling at the edges and two slices of luncheon meat with large chunks of lard embedded in them. A bowl with a single wedge of canned grapefruit floating in liquid. And three bowls that held the scant remains of what looked like dried cereal. I peered into each bowl and noted the choices. Cornflakes. Cornflakes. And cornflakes. We should have stayed in a five-star hotel. Their dried cereal selections probably included Cocoa Puffs.

I threw some food together and returned to the table with Nana. "What did you end up eating?" I asked her as I motioned the waiter for coffee.

"I had the plain glue. It wasn't bad actually. Tasted a little like Cream of Wheat without the wheat." She regarded my meal. "We'll have to come down earlier tomorrow, Emily. I don't see how you're gonna survive the mornin' on six cornflakes and a cup a coffee."

The waiter appeared at my shoulder, sloshed coffee into my cup, and rushed off again. I peeked into my cup. Correction. Six cornflakes and a half cup of coffee. I took a sip. A half cup of cold coffee. I refused to be upset, however. My anticipated dinner date with Etienne Miceli made even cold coffee seem palatable.