“Honey…” Phil wanted to defend himself. But he couldn’t. So he didn’t.
So Marci added, “And you forget your anniversary.”
Phil felt like the biggest jerk of all time for forgetting their anniversary. And he was about to say he was sorry, because he thought Marci was finished. But she wasn’t. “I mean, I brought you here hoping you’d remember—about us. About … what we used to be. Before we got to where we are now.”
She paused. And sighed. And looked out onto the lake, past the illuminated makeshift ice rink and into the blackness.
And then said, “But you didn’t. Remember.”
And then she was still. And seemed defeated.
But then she took a deep breath and turned to Phil and hissed, “And that makes me so mad that … I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Phil winced at the rage Marci had unleashed.
But then realized how happy he was to finally have some truth.
Because Marci never told him the truth anymore.
So he gave her some truth right back.
“You lie,” he said.
“What?!” she rejoined. Phil’s response was so far afield of what she was expecting, it was almost absurd.
“You lie so bad.”
“What?!?”
“You’re mad at me. But you don’t tell me—even when I ask you over and over.”
“Because I’m only just figuring all this out!” cried Marci.
“No! No! No!” yelled Phil, springing to his feet. “You figured it out a long time ago! You’ve been mad at me—and disappointed in me—for a looooong time. But you don’t tell me you’re mad or disappointed. You just expect me to figure it out. So I’m always wondering how I’m doin’—as a husband, as a dad. So I just have to wonder and wonder and wonder where I am, where I stand with you.” Phil took a moment to breathe. And then added, “Maybe that’s why I go away. So I can know where I am for a second.” Phil stewed and paced for a moment and then stopped and turned to Marci and snarled, “And you know what? It’s lonely there, too, where I go. And you sent me there. You went away a long time before I did.”
“I didn’t go anywhere!”
“Yeah, you do. You go … wherever I’m not! Everything you do is for the kids! And now—with your new job—for other people! And their kids! And there’s nothin’ left for me! And you go around lyin’ like you like me and like we’re so happy—”
“I don’t go around lying!”
“Yes, you do! You say you’re not mad, but you’re mad! You say you have fun, but you don’t! You didn’t have fun tonight, did you?”
“No.”
“But you kept sayin’ you did.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t have fun, Phil. I don’t have fun with you anymore.”
Phil started nodding as he took in the truth Marci had spoken. And it hurt. But it was refreshing. And then he started laughing and said, “Well, I don’t either.”