But as they prepared for bed later, she was careful to keep herself facing away from him as she undressed, in case he noticed. She saw though, with despair, as he carelessly threw his clothes onto the chair and flung on a dressing gown to go and clean his teeth, that he wouldn’t notice. He was blithely oblivious to everything. His life was going along swimmingly, thank you very much. She watched his departing back with utter desperation. She had to tell him – had to . . . Please, listen to me – help me . . .

They cuddled up in Simon’s three-quarter-size bed, she with her back to him, Simon curled around her. As soon as they were touching she knew he was aroused, his hands beginning to explore her body in a lazy sort of way.

‘I think Mac and Les are going to be able to fix up a round of golf this weekend,’ he said through a yawn. ‘It’s a shame you don’t play – you should come and learn.’

Katie felt lonelier in that moment than ever before in her life. She said nothing. Simon’s hands were lifting the edge of her nightdress, his hands moving higher.

‘Goodness, Squeak’ – he stroked her bare belly – ‘I do believe you’re starting to fill out a bit. Is someone getting you extra rations from somewhere?’

Her breath caught in her throat. She turned in the bed so that she was on her back, half facing him.

‘BB – Simon. I . . . I need to tell you something.’

‘Umm?’ She could feel him pressing against her, hard and wanting.

‘No – stop, please!’ She was so emphatic that his hands stilled.

‘Hey, what’s up?’

‘I’m . . . I’m . . .’ Oh heavens, could she get the words out! ‘Oh, Si – I’m having a baby – our baby.’ They poured out, the sobs starting too.

He pushed himself up on his elbow and his boyish face was staring intently down into hers.

‘You are having me on, aren’t you?’

She shook her head vigorously. ‘I can feel it moving. It’s yours, Si – ours.’

He pushed back the bedclothes, drawing up her nightgown so that she felt cold and exposed, and touched her swollen stomach. His interest seemed detached, scientific, as if he was checking the pressure of a set of tyres.

‘And you’re sure?’ he said again. She could see he was completely stunned. That such a thing might really happen had not crossed his mind.

Fearfully, her tears running into her hair, she looked up into his face. ‘I’m certain.’

His left eye twitched. He looked away, across the room. Katie felt a coldness grow in her. He was not with her, she knew. He was far, far away. All he said, in the end, was, ‘Christ!’

Twenty

Katie woke the next morning after a terrible night’s sleep, sick with hunger. Of course – she had had no tea last night. It all came rushing back to her. She was here, in Simon’s bed, after the row with Mom, after his reaction: the fact that he could think of nothing whatsoever to say.