Soon, though, she heard voices coming closer and quickly wiped her eyes. Three boys, all about nine years old, were running round quite close to her, charging at each other like little bulls, then wrestling each other on the grass. Her shock at them disturbing her was overcome by the sight of their cheeky, laughing faces, and a bolt of longing went through her.

Why am I being so ridiculous? she thought, her spirits soaring, after hitting the bottom a moment before. I’m going to see Simon later. All I have to do is tell him. I love him and he loves me, I know he does. Everything in that moment felt very secure and clear. He would make everything all right, she knew he would.

She caught the bus and then walked to his house, churning with nerves, and knocked on the door. She was ready with her words, her thin thread of hope, but the door was opened by Dai, one of Simon’s lodgers, a stocky man with wild brown hair.

‘Oh – hello!’ He seemed as startled as Katie.

‘Is Simon in?’ She managed to make her voice sound almost normal.

‘No, he’s not here, I’m afraid. I don’t know where he’s gone. The works, p’raps.’

Her courage was already seeping away. What on earth was she doing, just turning up on his doorstep when anyone could be about!

‘All right,’ she said casually. ‘Not to worry. Thank you.’

Just round the corner she was grateful for a scrubby hedge edging a garden, because her insides bucked and she was sick until there was nothing left inside her.

Nineteen

October 1943

It was Vera who noticed.

Katie spent the rest of the summer in a paralysis of fear, denying to herself for as long as she could that this was really happening to her. But as the days waned and the leaves turned yellow, then brown, the child moved unmistakably inside her.

That evening it was wet and they had both come in tired and hungry from work, leaving their umbrellas open to dry in the hall. They took off their wet boots, then went round pulling the blackout curtains and turning on the lights.

‘There’s some of that stew left over from yesterday,’ Vera said. ‘Where are my slippers? Ah, here they are. It’s more potato than meat, but there’s a fair bit left, I think.’

‘I’ll put it on to heat up,’ Katie said. She almost said, ‘I could eat a horse, I’m so hungry,’ but stopped herself. Her mother had been giving her odd looks lately, as if she was trying to work something out.

‘There’s some carrot and swede,’ Vera said. She got to her feet, with a tired grunt. ‘I’ll get the fire going, then I’ll come and give you a hand.’

Vera clicked the wireless on. Music streamed out and then, as she riddled the fire and Katie was scraping carrots, the news. Italy had declared war on Germany.

‘They want to make up their minds, those Eyties,’ Vera remarked. ‘This is nearly all slack—’ The fire kindled and spat.