Laurence knew he was about to screw everything up—he should just keep his mouth shut—but then Patricia would know he was keeping an opinion to himself, and that could be worse. “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s a basis for an ethical framework. ‘What would the crows think?’ The crows can’t fully grasp the ramifications of the kind of choices you’re talking about. A crow couldn’t understand how a nuclear reactor works, or what the Paperwork Reduction Act is.”

“Do you know what the Paperwork Reduction Act is?”

Laurence was burning up inside his too-tight collar. “Um. I mean, it’s a law, right? And I’m guessing it reduces paperwork.”

“Jesus. Do you even listen to yourself? Yes, I know that crows can’t understand nuclear physics, not unlike most people. I’m not saying that I ask the crows for scientific advice.”

Laurence finally risked looking up, and Patricia was more laughing than upset. With a bit of eye rolling in the mix, too. He could live with that.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m just saying that some ethical questions are more complex.”

“Sure. Yeah.” Patricia shook her head and sort of whistled. “But you’re colossally missing the point, almost like on purpose. I’m saying that there are a lot of different ways of looking at the world, and maybe I actually do have a unique advantage, because I get to hear different voices. You really don’t get that?”

Laurence felt like maybe the crows were laughing at him now, as if Patricia had tipped them off somehow. “I get that. I do. I just, I think ethics are universal, and derived from principles, and I think that situational ethics are a slippery slope. Plus I don’t think crows have much, if any, notion of ethics. I don’t think a crow has ever even considered the categorical imperative.”

“I love that this conversation started out with you worrying that I was judging you, and ended up with you judging me.” Patricia had definitely stiffened a little and gotten a little farther away on the blanket. Laurence was feeling kind of toxic, and also worrying that he’d gone and pissed off the one person he could actually talk to in this stupid world.

“I’m not judging you, I’m not. You have to know that. I already said if it were me, there would be turtles everywhere.”

“I don’t actually think that ethics are derived from principles. At all.” Patricia scooted a little closer again and touched his arm with a few cool fingertips. “I think that the most basic thing of ethics is being aware of how your actions affect others, and having an awareness of what they want and how they feel. And that’s always going to depend on who you’re dealing with.”