“In the blink of an eye, the guy finds himself in that field. And he’s just about to say hi to his neighbor when Satan grabs a loud hailer and shouts, ‘THAT’S IT, FOLKS! COFFEE BREAK’S OVER!’”

*  *  *

A few minutes later, they were driving into town when Todd had an idea.

“I’ve never bought you anything,” he said.

“You bought me dinner,” said Sara. “And a few cocktails.”

“Come on,” said Todd, and turned into a side street.

“Wow,” said Sara. “I haven’t been here in a long time. Is that old fraud still running the place?”

“Sure is,” said Todd. He parked opposite Legolas Books and got out.

“I guess by now anybody else would have torched the place for the insurance,” Sara said as they crossed the road to the store.

The bell tinkled behind them as they went in, giving Timothy time to put away the calculator he was using to add up the previous week’s sales and to instead pick up a slim volume of Carlos Castaneda.

“Hey, pilgrim!” he greeted Todd. “I see you brought a friend.”

“Morning, Timothy,” said Todd, moving off immediately toward the shelves.

“And how can I help a beautiful lady on a beautiful day?” asked Timothy, whose interest in ladies, beautiful or otherwise, was largely confined to photographs of them in specialist European publications.

“I have no idea why I’m here,” said Sara. “But it certainly is a pleasure to be inside this marvelously quaint old store.”

Fuck you, thought Timothy, who was no stranger to sarcasm with a smile. “Why, thank you,” he said. “’Tis a small thing, but all mine own. To quote the poet.”

Timothy had no idea which poet he was quoting, or even if he was quoting: as far as he knew, he could be saying the first weak shit that came into his shiny bald head. But it must have done the trick, because the woman looked impressed.

“You still looking for that mystery tome?” Timothy said and was surprised to see Todd turn around abruptly, as if about to—what? Tell him to shut up?

“No,” said Todd, forcing a smile. “I found it, actually.”

“Really?” said Timothy. “Have you been seeing… other bookstores?”

“Of course not,” Todd said, apparently not caring to join in the merry banter. “As it turns out, I had it at home all the time.”

“Well, there we go,” Timothy said. “A man with so many books, he doesn’t know what’s in his own library. I know the feeling!”

And Timothy gestured around the store, as if to say, “This may not be the Great Library of Alexandria but to me it is the finest repository of books in all the world.” He even thought of actually saying it, but decided that it might be some bull too far.

“How then can I help you today?” he said.

“I’m looking for a book for this lady,” said Todd.