“Alice, this is Todd Milstead. I’m very sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you.”

There was a moment of silence while the uptight old spinster processed Todd’s words and then she said, “That’s all right. Thank you, Mr. Milstead.”

Fenton came back on the line. “Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” echoed Todd. Some people, he thought as he filled his briar.

“I understand from Alice,” said Fenton, in a voice way more formal than he’d used last time they spoke, “that you have some information concerning your wife’s activities.”

“Yes I do,” said Todd, finally discerning the real reason for the call. Money. “I witnessed something which I feel may alter the nature of the divorce… settlement.”

“I see,” said Fenton. “According to my secretary, what you witnessed was—and I quote—‘My wife’s fucking some other guy.’”

“Yeah,” said Todd. “I didn’t actually see her fu—sleep with him, but I did see them go into a diner together.”

“A diner?” said Fenton. “And after they went into the diner, is that when they fucked?”

“Excuse me?” said Todd. “No, of course not.”

“The parking lot then?” said Fenton. “Did she fuck the other guy in the parking lot?”

“I don’t know,” said Todd. “I mean, no of course not. Fenton, whose side are you on?”

“Nobody’s side, Mr. Milstead,” said Fenton smoothly. “I’m a lawyer.”

“Goddammit, you’re my lawyer,” snarled Todd.

“I haven’t seen any documents to that effect,” said Fenton. “And no money has changed hands.”

“I’ll bring over a check right away,” Todd said, almost choking with rage.

“Okay then,” said Fenton brightly. “Let’s start again. You witnessed your wife and another man… being intimate.”

Todd took a deep breath.

“I didn’t exactly witness anything,” he said. “But I implied it.”

“You inferred it,” said Fenton, immediately moving himself from Todd’s mental list of assholes to his mental list of complete and utter assholes. “You saw your wife and another man go into the diner where they—what?”

“They ordered food together,” said Todd, feeling foolish. “And the food arrived, and they began to eat it.”

“Began to eat it?” asked Fenton. “Do you mean that something interrupted their meal?”

“Yes,” said Todd, feeling more foolish. “It was me. I was—compelled—to step into the parking lot and they became… aware of me.”

Fenton paused for a moment. Todd had a feeling the bastard was beginning to enjoy himself.

“A while back, I heard from a cop friend about a little fracas outside Bill’s Tire Shop,” he said. “Which is next to Roberta’s Diner, I believe.”

“What of it?” said Todd.

“Oh, nothing,” Fenton said. “Just interesting. I know from Alice that Janis goes there sometimes. Wondered if it might be the same place. That’s all.”

Todd said nothing.