Her psychiatrist had been over this with her a million times. Her PTSD from the incident sometimes sent her right back in time, to the point where she had no control over how she might act or feel in the present moment.

After a moment, she felt Kens hand on her shoulder squeeze. She hated herself for being comforted by it. Hated herself because she needed this. To feel close to another person. She couldn't help it. She let herself lean onto him, feel the warmth of him, even if this was Ken, of all people. Nicky didn't care. At least she was able to keep it together long enough to not cry.

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away, but she couldn't stop the trembling.

"No," Ken said softly. "Don't apologize. It's okay. Where were you?"

After this embarrassing display, the least she could do was be honest. "It's... about what happened with my sister. I relive it sometimes. That's all."

Ken nodded. "I've read your file, Lyons. I know what happened. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Nicky said. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"No. It's fine. I'm glad you did. I'm glad I was there."

Nicky's brow furrowed, but she didn't want to ask. Once she did, she'd have to remember she was talking to Ken Walker. She wasn't sure if she could handle that.

"Can I ask you something?" she said instead.

"Sure."

"What are you doing here? I mean, why'd you become a profiler? Why'd you join the FBI?" It was an excuse to know him more, but also to veer the conversation away from herself.

Her question must have caught him off-guard. He took a moment to choose his answer. Nicky felt a twinge of guilt for prying, but she had to know.

"I joined the FBI because I want to catch the monsters of the world," he said. "I want to stop them before they kill more people."

A noble cause, Nicky said.

"It isn't just that, though. I think... I think I want people to remember the victims of these cases, Ken explained. I think I want to honor them for who they were, and who they became. I want them to matter. I want people to know that they were real, legitimate people with stories and backgrounds..."

"But why? What motivates you, personally?"

Ken hesitated a moment, but then nodded. I told you before, youre not the only one with personal interests in cases like this. When I was a teenager, there was this… girl. Im gonna have to get sappy on you for a moment, but she was the first crush I ever had. Yeah, I know it sounds kiddish now, but back then it was everything.

Nicky nodded. I get it. When youre a teenager, you feel everything. I remember those days. Her heart sank as she thought about that last night shed spent with Rosie and all their friends, the night before Rosie went missing.