“Let me have him, Evie,” he said, so gentle.

Marco picked Sundance up and carried him into the clinic, his body limp.

He laid him on a table, listened to his heart, examined his eyes, put his hands on his body. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Evie.”

“Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.” I put my head to Sundance’s and cried. Sundance licked me again. “Sundance, baby. I love you. Oh, Sundance!”

“Evie,” Marco said. “I’m going to give him a painkiller, then let me carry him out to the beach. You can say goodbye there. Under the sunset. He would like that. Let’s not let him die here.”

I sobbed and nodded, and Marco, strong Marco, gave him the painkiller, then carried Sundance out to the beach. I sat down, leaned against a log, and he put that huge dog in my lap.

“I’ll be at the house. I know you need time alone with him.”

I nodded and cried into Sundance’s golden fur as I held him like a baby. I stared into his eyes and he stared into mine, and his lips moved, like he was smiling at me. I had had him for seventeen years. He wagged his tail at me, and I kissed him. We watched the sun go down together as I cradled him, rocked him, the sky filled with scarlet and lavender tonight, the waves quieter, but maybe they seemed quieter because I was sobbing.

“Sundance,” I whispered. “I love you, baby. I love you, I love you, I will miss you so much.” I would miss him every day. He was my constant friend, my true friend. I thought of all the times we’d walked the island together, how he’d followed me through the rows of roses, peonies, sunflowers, and daffodils on our property, how he’d chase birds with such abandon, and how he’d been so excited when I came home from work every day, as if we’d been parted for years. I thought of the camping we’d done for months after my brain misfired and I flamed out, the places we’d seen, the waterfalls and rivers, the mountain ranges and sunny beaches.

I remembered the time he’d barked when a rattlesnake had gotten too close, and one time he’d lunged at a strange man who approached our tent, turning into a protective, fierce dog I hadn’t seen before. I thought of the way he loved his pink blankie and his stuffed friend, Lizard, and how he had overcome losing one leg to run with the best of them.

I put my face next to his again and he weakly licked my cheek, a kiss of love, a kiss of goodbye, then he sighed, one last breath, his eyes on mine, and died in my arms.

* * *

I was inconsolable that night.