“I’m a Christian man, and I do know that story, Evie, which is why I brought it up. I think it’s you who has it wrong. Eve sinned. Adam did not. Eve led Adam to sin—”

“Are you going to write me a ticket?”

He stopped. His face flushed.

“If not, I need to go. I have plans for tonight and I’ll be late.”

His whole body tensed, chest up. “Got a date?” The three words seemed as if they were torn from his tight-lipped mouth.

“I’m not required to tell you my plans.”

His eyes narrowed. He liked the power to ask questions and get them answered even when they weren’t his business. “I will be giving you a ticket. A car must be in working, functional order at all times, and yours is not.” He turned on his heel and waddled back to his car and heaved himself in. I knew I would have to wait for a while. This was all part of controlling the situation. He would make me wait. He wanted to make me late for my plans tonight.

I called my friend Bettina at the bakery and ordered a key lime pie. I love those. I think they calm my nerves. Hence, nutritionally speaking, they’re good for me. We also talked about the other cakes and treats she would be delivering to the bookstore in the future. Next I called Sandy at the hardware store because I needed to add more support to one of my bookshelves—too many books, too much weight. She knew just the thing I needed!

I texted my mother and aunts in our group text and wrote, “Pulled over by Chief Ass Burn on Robbins Dr.”

“I’m coming,” Aunt Iris said.

“There’s no need to,” I texted back.

“I’m coming,” Aunt Camellia said.

“Don’t bother,” I texted back.

I called Tiala at the bookstore to make sure all was well. The science club was meeting that night. She expected, as I did, that there could be heated discussions about current scientific breakthroughs and discoveries, but we knew that there would be nothing thrown, including punches or plates, as they are a dignified group.

Finally Chief Reginald Ass Burn tumbled himself and his gut out of his car. I was on the phone with my mother. When he was in front of my window I said to her, “I love you, too. I’ll see you later,” and hung up.

I could tell he thought I was speaking to my “date.”

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” he said.

I put my hand out for the ticket.

His jaw tightened and he gave me the ticket.

I looked at the amount. “You have got to be kidding.” It was outrageous. “That’s outrageous.”