“Those dang drug companies made those painkillers a whisper away from heroin,” Aunt Iris said, so angry. She ran a hand through her short white hair. “A whisper! A millimeter! A feather! Profits before people. That’s why all those good people got addicted. You want the chief to get addicted to something a hop and a scotch away from heroin? Neither do I. Pot is the practical answer.”

“We can put it in his cookies,” Aunt Camellia said, “and add a blessing.” She spread her palms up and out, as if catching blessings.

“I can’t even believe I’m hearing this,” I said. Mars jumped on my lap. Venus jumped on a stack of books in the family room that were propped against my pink rose wallpaper wall. I knew he was going to knock them over. Yep. They tumbled down, and he hissed. “You’re talking about making the police chief stoned.”

My mother and aunts studied me curiously, then Aunt Iris said, looking straight at me, as if I weren’t even there, “She’s a little too Goody Two-shoes, isn’t she?”

“I think she needs naked yoga,” Aunt Camellia said. “Communing with grace from above will help her soul to relax, the stars a balm against her almost sanctimonious angst.”

“It was her father,” my mother said. “He always followed all the rules.”

“I’m sitting right here, Mom, Aunts,” I said. “Eating croissants with no pot in them.”

“She does get snippy,” Aunt Iris said.

I rolled my eyes. “What are you doing with the money, anyhow? You don’t need it.”

“We do need it!” my mother exclaimed.

“Why?”

“Antarctica!” the three of them said together. Then they laughed.

“What do you mean, Antarctica?” Sundance put his head in my lap. It didn’t bother Mars. They’re friends.

“We’re going to Antarctica for a visit,” my mother said. “And we’re going to make special Antarctica hats. Warm ones!”

“I can’t wait to see polar bears,” Aunt Camellia said. “If I die and come back as an animal, I want to be a polar bear. Majestic, strong, wise. Also, they have sharp teeth, a warm white coat, and a strong bite.”

A strong bite? Aunt Camellia wanted a strong bite? Did she have cannibalistic tendencies?

“I want to study the weather,” Aunt Iris said. “The temperature during the day versus the night and how it shifts through the seasons. I’m interested in the ocean currents, the animals who live and survive in Antarctica, and what’s underneath the layers of ice in terms of billions of years of history on that continent. I want to know who came first to explore Antarctica. Did they freeze to death and die? Who came next? I want to know about the effects of global warming. They better have presentations and videos to watch so I can learn something onboard.”