“Chief Bick Allroy? You think he’s coming on our property to arrest us? Let me envision that!” My aunt Camellia bent over as she laughed, pink Anne Boleyn roses on her knees. She then crossed her legs, and my mother saw her, whooped, and crossed her legs as they cackled.

“Hang on,” Aunt Iris said, shaking her hydrangeas at me. “I have an image of Chief Allroy coming here with his handcuffs.” Her laughter boomed. “Handcuffs!”

This image was, apparently, also hilarious.

“He’ll get a warrant, come on your property, go into your greenhouse,” I drawled, knowing that the harder they laughed, the more problems they’d have in the bladder department. “He’ll read you your rights, tell you to get an attorney—”

“Stop, Evie, stop. You know I don’t have a strong bladder!” my mother howled.

“Me either!” Aunt Iris gasped. “Evie, quick. Say something serious! Oh, do it, now! Something about politics, mathematics, scientific explorations, and discoveries.”

I was not amused by their cackling. “Chief Allroy will put your hands behind your back,” I drawled.

They shrieked again, then waddled their screeching selves back toward Rose Bloom Cottage’s toilets.

“He’s coming to get you now!” I shouted after them.

I don’t know why this was so funny to them, but they howled.

“He’s going to turn on the sirens when you’re in the back of his police car!”

They could barely stand it.

“And then you’ll go to town and be put in a holding cell in jail!”

More fun!

“I squirted!” my mother howled.

“Need fresh panties!” Aunt Camellia said.

“Dang getting old and my wrinkled bladder!” Aunt Iris said as her blue hat tumbled off her head.

* * *

Watching my aunts and mother waddle on into the house from the greenhouse, I thought of Jules and myself.

We could end up like them. We would be one sister short, but still.

It made me happy thinking of growing old with Jules. It brought me peace.

But we would not be growing pot in the greenhouse, that was for sure.

* * *

Aunt Camellia won for best hat later that week. She did create hat art. She started with a white straw hat, then piled on white roses, faux white birds, and white feathers sprayed with silver glitter. It was about two feet tall.

Aunt Iris used sunflowers, blue delphinium, and blue hydrangeas to make a mixed bouquet. She used a huge gold bow and plopped them on a dark blue hat that resembled a giant donut. She earned second place.

My mother made a bouquet of burgundy peonies, attached them to a purple felt hat that covered one eye, added burgundy netting that stuck out six inches on either side, and wrapped it with burgundy ribbons.

“Oh, pish. I hate losing,” my mother said. “Let’s drink some wine, ladies!”

* * *

Mr. Jamon came in for his weekly books.

“What are you thinking about today?” I asked him.