Unlike Gandulf, Nathan had not been with these men long enough to win their full trust and confidence. He didn’t have the credibility that permitted his men to accept everything he said as gospel. Nathan’s father had spoken to his son about this problem. He lamented the sad fact that an officer’s word was no longer viewed as his bond in the United States Army. “One of the more enduring legacies of the war in Vietnam,” Scott often reminded his son, “was the sad fact that the officer corps ceased being something special and became nothing more than another career oriented profession.” Then Nathan had not appreciated what his father was saying. Now, however, this sad truth hit home. Though Gandulf did all he could to make it known he was in full agreement with his lieutenant’s actions, Nathan found himself wondering if even his senior NCO actually believed in him or if he simply did so because the situation demanded that he stand by his lieutenant.

Exacerbating this feeling of uncertainty over his leadership abilities and judgment was the fact that his platoon had been less than thrilled about his decision to evade the Guard by moving to the southeast. While this did take them away from Gowen and the National Guard vehicles that had begun to gravitate toward the ammo site, it also took them farther away from the rest of the company. Nathan had judged the risks associated with going south, then cutting to the west in an effort to rejoin the company were too great. They were just as likely to miss the rest of the company if it was also on the move as they were to find it. Yet the draw of joining their comrades was compelling to the men in Nathan’s platoon. Even highly trained paratroopers feel safer and braver when they are surrounded by their fellow soldiers, especially if the alternative is following a brand new lieutenant into the unknown.

Gandulf did his best to ensure that there was no open dissension to Nathan’s orders. What grumbling did bubble up during the move was quickly squelched, if not by Gandulf himself then by the squad leaders who always kept one eye on the platoon’s senior NCO. While aware of what was going on, Nathan did his best to pretend that he didn’t notice it. Instead he mustered up the bravest, most confident mask of command that he could affect and went about the business of being a platoon leader.