Neither the cameraman nor the sound tech took Jan’s erratic behavior that morning calmly. In turn they attempted to draw her into one interview or shot after another. When she failed to respond without explanation, they would ask plaintively, “Well, what do you have in mind?”

Distracted by an unseen force, Jan never answered. Instead she would simply turn and wander away. Not even the frantic calls from the headquarters of World News Network shook her out of her uninspired and unproductive meandering. Only one thing could end them, one thing that Jan was almost afraid to find.

In the hope of being able to shoot some footage that might be of use as Jan stepped up to a Guard officer, the cameraman hoisted the nation’s eye on breaking events and prepared to film once Jan cued her. But the suddenly absent minded journalist never gave her the now familiar flip of her hair and quick, over the shoulder glance. Instead she stood before the Guard captain with her back to the camera. Peeved, the cameraman let the lens dip down as she cast her compatriot a look of disgust.

Had the cameraman been a mother and had she known that Jan had a son who was a member of the nation’s only airborne capable division, perhaps she would have understood Jan’s distraction. But Jan never allowed herself to become too familiar with her crew, preferring to keep them at arm’s distance. In the past this had served her well, permitting her the freedom to replace any member of her team as soon as they became sloppy, unprofessional, or uncooperative.

But the flip side of this meant that when Jan was on assignment she was very much alone. Other than her nightly calls to Scott, she didn’t have someone with whom she could share that day’s joys and triumphs, or tragedies and despair. This practice helped her maintain her image as a dedicated and unflappable journalist, a professional with no conscious thoughts except getting the story. Just when she could have used a little understanding and someone to lean on, she found that she had no one who could help her.

For their part, her crew followed her without comment. Working as a pick-up crew for a national celebrity, neither the cameraman nor sound tech felt comfortable pushing Jan. After all she was the one with all the national awards. Besides, until that morning her coverage of events in Idaho had been flawless and occasionally quite spectacular. So if Jan’s behavior seemed to be a bit erratic at the moment, she could be forgiven. Having watched other artists at work, the cameraman suspected that Jan might be onto something. “Patience,” she kept telling herself, “patience.”