“I’ll tell you all about my day, if you’ll tell me about that lecture and why just thinking about it made your face go red.”

He grew redder and stared down into his coffee.

“A pastor came over to lecture us about our duty in helping the Heavenly Kingdom grow. Y’know, our duty.”

Emmanuel gave her a significant look. She gathered his meaning. And then she blushed too.

“That’s why they bus us out here every day,” he continued. “It’s so we can, ah, get to know the local women. And then get to know them in the biblical sense.”

She laughed in spite of herself. I think that was the first off-color joke I’ve heard in weeks. It felt good, and risqué. It was actually the same sort of thrill she’d gotten back home when she’d sneakily read issues of Revelator and browsed the media feeds of various Martyr’s brigades.

“You know, Emmanuel,” she said, “you’re not quite like anyone else I’ve met here. It’s nice to meet someone who isn’t afraid to joke. I didn’t think I’d miss that.”

He was quiet for a little while. Manny stirred his coffee awkwardly, cast his eyes down. He went a little paler.

“You seem different too. I dunno. This place… Maybe it’s not exactly what we thought it would be?”

She should have gotten angry at that. It was the kind of comment that could’ve gotten Emmanuel in a lot of trouble. Why would he say that to me? she wondered. And why am I OK with all this? Maybe it was ­Marigold rubbing off on her. Maybe it was just gradual disillusionment, the climax of a process that had started with Alexander’s betrayal. But the Heavenly Kingdom no longer felt magical, or even all that holy.

“It’s complicated here,” she finally said. “I mean, before I came here, I knew it couldn’t be perfect. No place is. But yes, it’s not what I’d hoped to find, exactly.”

Sasha felt a spike of panic as soon as the words left her mouth. You barely know this man, Sasha. His whole job might be ferreting out potential disloyalty. She coughed, and tried to walk her admission back a little.

“It’s still better than the SDF, or any of the other heathen states. I have to keep telling myself that. What’s important is what we’re fighting for, not the imperfections we have to live with in this moment.”

“Mmmh,” he gave a noncommittal grunt. That surprised her. She hadn’t expected anything specific, exactly. But that surprised her. He started to say something else. Then his eyes went wide.

“Who–” he started to say.

Sasha heard bootfalls. She felt the presence of several tall men behind her. The heavy, familiar scent of ­Alexander’s cologne filled her nostrils.