“So can you understand why I didn’t tell him where I was going? I knew I’d be making trouble for myself later, of course I knew that. But I also knew that if I’d told him…I don’t mean he’d have stopped me, as in, stood in the doorway and held my wrists. But he’d have chipped away and chipped away like he does, until I felt smaller than dirt; until I gave up the whole harebrained idea and saw how poorly thought through it was, how disruptive for Sam and our family; how I wasn’t strong enough to handle it.” She takes a breath. “I didn’t trust the person I’d be after he’d finished talking me down. It’s why I had to just go. Honestly, Gillian, I didn’t even know if it was the right thing or the wrong thing in the end, but I knew it took every bit of self-determination I had to just get in that car and drive.”

“I’m—I’m sorry you felt that way,” I say. It’s hard to get my head around all this. Not just that their marriage was so different from what it seemed, but this whole vision of my sister. Abigail, the fighter. The feisty one.

“I don’t think he can even help it, you know,” Abigail says, after a while. “He’s married to someone he doesn’t love, and he’s so…angry. Not just at me; everything irritates him. It’s like he’s set to the wrong frequency.”

“It’s not an excuse,” I say quietly.

“I know,” she says. “I’m not excusing him. I can’t, anymore.”

I look at Mom. She looks like this is hitting her hard. She’s always thought so highly of Dennis.

“What about Sam?” she says quietly. “How is he towards Sam?”

Abigail sighs.

“He’s…better. I can say that much for him. He’s not a bad father. Demanding, maybe, but Sam’s his little prince.”

We all sit with that for a moment.

“What are you going to do?” I say finally. “Are you going to divorce?”

Slowly, Abigail nods.

“I think I needed to get away to see that, Gillian. At first I was waiting for things to get better, and then I guess I’ve been waiting for Dennis to see the light. I said the word divorce to him in the summer, and he acted like I was talking about going to the moon. I thought it would sink in: how unhappy he is, how divorce would be best for both of us. But now I see that’s not going to happen, and I just have to do this alone. Even if he fights me on it.”