We laugh, and the kids place their orders as they slide off their snow boots and come over. Then after Oliver’s handed out the drinks, Dinah clears her throat.

“We, um, have some news,” she says.

She glances over at Jeff before turning back to us, and in that moment, I know. I see it in the tense, apologetic look in her eye, and in the suppressed excitement that’s there too. I see it in the faint flush of pride on Jeff’s face, and in how Josie’s buzzing with the awareness of someone who knows big news. I remember Lottie at the farmer’s market: have you spoken to Dinah recently?

Dinah hesitates, that look of apology flickering again.

“We’re having a baby,” she says. “We just confirmed it.”

I inhale, and push out the words.

“You are?! That’s wonderful! Wonderful. Congratulations!”

I sound manic. I am manic. I’m pretty sure that if I stop firing out good wishes or let my face stop smiling, I’ll have some other, mortifying reaction that Dinah and Jeff really, really don’t deserve.

“We…we weren’t really planning on it,” she says. “I mean, we were open to it, but…”

I know what she’s trying to tell me. She thinks it’ll feel better for me to know that this took them by surprise; that they didn’t do it “on purpose.” But it doesn’t make me feel better. How can it just happen for them, when they’re not even trying? When they’re not even thinking about it?

Oliver’s offering his congratulations now, and there are smiles all around. I see the shadow behind Dinah’s smile as she looks my way. I’m sorry, it says. I didn’t mean for it to be this way. I draw air through my nose, marshal the feelings until I’m confident the tremor won’t show. But on top of everything else, here’s what I’m thinking: Oliver knew.

He knew. That’s what this whole thing with Jeff was about. The missed calls the other night. His agitation this morning. But instead of telling me, he just let me walk into this bombshell unawares. And now he has the gall to act surprised.

I could kill him, I really could.

Dinah gets me on my own a few minutes later.

“Gillian…please don’t think I don’t appreciate how…well, unfair this is. The timing is terrible, I know that. It just happened. I…I wasn’t sure when to tell you. Jeff said we had to tell you both together—brothers, you know how it is.”

I swallow. I don’t bother telling her that Jeff obviously let the cat out of the bag to Oliver already, whatever he said.

“You shouldn’t apologize. I am happy for you. I just…” I shrug, because I can’t manage the words, and because she already knows.