I think of Oliver’s historical dislike for Dennis, which I’d always partly put down to wealth; to how Oliver had to work nights all the way through his college years to support himself. It’s not hard to see how a quick trip to a sperm bank seemed like a smart choice.

And I can’t even say it was a bad choice. Because who understands more than I do what a miracle it is to be able to give someone a baby? To be able to make that possible for them?

I just wish it hadn’t been him.

Abigail shakes her head again, swirls the last of the whiskey in her plastic glass.

“But you, Abigail,” I say finally. “You’re not going to go back to that marriage, are you? You can’t.”

She looks at me.

“I…I have a lot to think about, Gillian,” she says. “I think I need some legal advice.”

“But Abigail—” I look at her. “If you go back with him tomorrow; if you let that whole world become your routine again…”

“I know,” she says. “I know, Gill.”

Wordlessly, Mom tops up our glasses, and Abigail sighs.

“You know, The Bridges of Madison County is on pay-per-view,” Mom says.

It’s such a non sequitur, such an outlandish suggestion, that I can’t help but laugh.

But Abigail swigs her drink and shrugs. “I’ve always liked Robert Redford in that.”

And soon, with our minibar whiskey in our plastic glasses, the three of us are lined up on one queen bed as The Bridges of Madison County runs its opening credits.

*

I go back to my room before breakfast. Oliver stirs as I come in.

“Gillian…can you sit down? Can we talk about this?”

“I’m not staying,” I say, keeping my eyes averted as I comb through my suitcase. “I just need a change of clothes. I’m going out with Abigail and Sam for a couple of hours.”

Abigail told me she’d like it if I came with them, when she and Sam go to say goodbye. I’m her moral support, I guess. I haven’t been that in decades.
   “But when are we going to talk?” Oliver says. “Gillian, we need to talk.”
“You know,” I turn around. “You had no problems shutting down the conversation whenever I was trying to talk to you about our future. Anytime I brought IVF up you acted like I was some kind of masochist who couldn’t just leave the conversation alone. But now you think I have some kind of moral responsibility to sit here and talk about all this with you?”