‘It doesn’t make sense,’ was all she said. ‘You never…’

He frowned and the way his face moved made her bite her lip. How had they got here, on the eve of his wedding to Alice?

‘Why didn’t you say anything sooner?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I suppose I just never saw it working. It felt like too big a risk. You’re the only person that’s ever really understood me. With my parents and things…’ He shrugged, still finding it difficult to discuss. ‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I was going to,’ she said. ‘But then you and Alice got together… and, you know… that was it…’ The stakes had always felt too high. Soulmates. Better to have him in her life than not, she had reasoned. They stared at each other sadly, knowing this was the end of the line.

‘You’re going to make a good husband,’ Nina said. She pressed a hand against his chest, the longing they shared now so intense she could feel it, a pressure between them like an unwelcome guest at a party.

He put his hand over hers, still staring into her eyes. His palm was warm and soft. He moved her hand to his cheek. She closed the gap between them, pressing pause on this moment mentally in her mind. Wanting to feel it, to capture it somehow, knowing she would return to it, time and time again. She wanted to stay suspended in this pinch of pleasure and pain for as long as she could. Her hand on Ted’s cheek and his eyes on hers – because once they moved, even an inch, they would each return to reality, to Ted marrying her best friend, and they would never have a moment like this again.

Would Nina ever feel this way again, with anyone? Was she destined to spend the rest of her life reliving these precious minutes on the steps of Le Sacré Coeur, this connection between the two of them, always seeking but never finding the same thing? It seemed as predestined as them meeting in the first place. That’s why she stood so still. That’s why she didn’t move. That’s why when Ted finally, painfully and slowly, so carefully it made her heart burst and her body throb and the rest of her feel like she was floating, dipped his face to hers and kissed her lips, she kissed him back. That’s why when he picked her up, she didn’t resist. Why she wrapped her legs around him, why she ignored the whistles – and some tuts – of passers-by, why she eventually pulled back, caught her breath, hailed a cab and took Ted back to her apartment.

6

Saturday a.m.

Alice

I blame Paris, thought Alice as she stared at a topless photo of Mr Hough, drops of water and streaks of early morning sun slanting over his skin. She rolled on to her side and pulled the pillow over her head and groaned. Was she having an affair? Was this an emotional affair?