Occasionally while I move among the plants, crouching, checking them, for it is vital to me that the garden be good every year, I stand, bending backwards slightly, my hand in the small of my back to ease the ache. I am no longer young; I can no longer assume that the parts of my body are in good order. I never go to a doctor, but I can feel things breaking down gradually, so that one might never notice if it were not so important to keep track of these things. When I stand I raise my face to the sun, because it is good to consume it while it is so intense.

The last time I stand and turn myself toward the light, I see the young woman again. She is standing now on the porch, watching me, looking into the sun but not shielding her eyes, so that she must only see the shape of me. Her arms are at her sides, her shoulders hang loosely, as if she has admitted defeat.

“Good,” I think. “Now she’ll go away.” I bend again over the plants. There is lettuce enough for a salad for my dinner; just for mine.

She has come up behind me and is standing there when I rise, holding my handful of lettuce. I am startled, and that combined with the sad and silent way she watches me makes me angry again.

“Well?” I ask shortly.

“Do you want me to leave?” Her voice is high again, young and tense. My anger slips; I cannot hold it. I cannot put my finger on what it is about her that defends her against me. But there is some — bond. Why can I not understand?

The struggle and the confusion are beginning now in earnest; I sense the danger, but I cannot order her away. I can, at most, be brusque.

“You’ll have to do what you want. I won’t invite you to stay, but I can hardly make you leave. There is a hotel in town. You must have gone past it, getting here. I live alone. I don’t think I can help you, truth is something I don’t know much about, and if it’s explanations you want, I can’t give you any. In the end, you know, you’ll have to go away and do whatever it is you do in any case.”

I am harsh. I am not accustomed to giving. What she wants is something I long ago became incapable of being. It has been much too long to try again.