Except, of course, she’s looking at it from the angle of her world, and I am quite willing to admit that she has caught my life precisely. I am indeed just like a cabbage, sitting around waiting for the sun to shine or the rain to fall. I smile and nod, check myself because of course that’s what she finds so irritating, and say gently, “What is it that makes you think my world is less real than yours?” I think, “If she can begin to understand what is real in my life, maybe she’ll be able to let go. And maybe she’ll be a little more free herself.”

“Because you don’t have to cope with things. You don’t have to juggle people, or give anything, you can just sit here and do whatever you bloody well feel like doing and not worry about anybody. That’s not real; that’s not the way it is for anybody else.”

“Did you hear what you said, Katie?” We are lying sprawled on the lawn beside each other. I am on my back, my hands behind my head, and it is very hard not to smile. Katie is lying on her side, looking at me, balanced on one elbow, one hand holding up her head. The other arm, the free one, is gesturing violently; she is very earnest and tense.

“What?” she asks, surprised. Then indignant. “I suppose whatever it was, you’re going to turn it on me.”

“Maybe, if you see it that way. You were saying that I’m free, that I don’t have to worry about other people, I don’t have to juggle them, I don’t have to cope. Is that what it’s like for you, out in your real world? And if it is, tell me the good things, tell me what you value about it.”

There is a long pause before she smiles and answers.

“All right then,” she says, “I’ll tell you. I like the idea of coping, it’s like a game and I’m very competitive. I enjoy dealing with problems and being responsible. I like being able to plan and have a good time. I don’t know how you can stand living alone; people are what make life worth living, and sure some of them are shits, but others aren’t, and it’s exciting to make friends and feel good about them. Okay, I admit I had to think about that for a minute; and I’ll grant you that what I said the first time sounded negative, and maybe that’s the way I feel about it sometimes, but it’s not all the time. On the whole, it’s good. It’s just not all good.”