Per Aspera Ad Astra

The Rise of a Movie Star in the Third Reich

Head to Wannsee, my dear child,

Where you’ll still find waters mild—

Cool your German maiden’s foot

Arm held out in stern salute

Rip that linen off your body

And be a lady!

Throw the ball and catch it quick

Lie down flat upon your back

Then stand up straight as a rod

Bend forward and side to side

Put your hands on both your hips—

That way they can see your tits—

Slip your pubis from your pants

And try your best while in this stance

To smile with chin between your ankles

Careless as a draft evader:

Give the cameraman his fill

And keep still.

For he’s one cool customer,

Whom it seems the reigning order

Like a blessing from the sky

Amidst the bombs and flames and cries

Has set right here before your feet—

And for cheap.

And if he’s no proper Aryan

Like a Mecklenburg agrarian,

Really you mustn’t complain—

What would all the others say

Whose dear beaus have all been done in

Slaughtered round the Donets Basin?

When the Volk are all off fighting

Then at home it bears inviting

Serbs and Turks, Indians, Persians

In the end they’re all God’s children

Just let the man do his best

As ersatz.

Out there on the sunny sand

Give yourself with heart and hand

Joyful sport on his dark hide

(After all you are his bride)

With saliva-softened hand

Coax it out, his merry glans:

For that’s where it has to differ

From the Jewish member.

Let him also, without haste,

Feel around below your waist

Germany’s youth have a right

To their Aryan delight;

Let the goatherd at it too—

Their kind know a thing or two;

Alas, they know much more besides—

Who knew they came in such a size!

Therefore don’t forget, take heed:

Lest the court should judge your deed.

Yielding to a love most hallowed

They won’t hang you from the gallows

Wiggle your ass up and down—

You’ll almost rip your dressing gown

Whatever else you might exclaim

Just don’t reveal the brownshirts’ names

Remember as you move your hips:

Loose lips sink ships!

Spare a thought for your old man:

Who in the heat of battle then

Fought bravely, gave it all he had:

Always such a fine comrade.

Had a laugh with Max and Fritz

At our dear Führer’s expense—

But while he did so paid attention

That no dirty Jew should join in

If one did—oh man, oh my!

How the shit began to fly!

Out his ears and down his throat—

So long, Jew! That’s all she wrote!

For sure, there’s not a single bloke

Who doesn’t like to laugh and joke—

But none of us would ever shirk—

Duty comes first.

And so every veteran soldier

Puts upon his joy a damper—

If you risk playing the cut up

Next day comes you might get strung up

Better also not inquire