10

“She’s thirty,” Lina told Diane the next day over lunch. She’d broken down and told her of Phil’s infidelity on the phone the night before. “Which means she has a thirty-year-old body.” She shook her head to clear the image.

“Don’t give her a second of your attention. She’s nothing to him.”

“Except the woman who’s carrying his child.” Just saying the words had Lina’s stomach clenching. She pushed her uneaten salad towards the center of the table. She hadn’t been able to eat since finding out on Sunday.

“Wayne said she’s planning to leave. I think she’s interviewing in DC.”

“He knew, didn’t he? About the affair. That’s why he was acting distant to Phil that night.”

“Yes. He said she pursued Phil relentlessly from the day she started last fall. He’s very upset about the whole thing.”

“Does everyone know?” She hated the thought of his coworkers’ looks of pity.

“No. Wayne said Phil was very discreet.”

“How nice of him,” Lina bit out sarcastically.

“Honey,” Diane began, covering her hand, “he did something awful and selfish, but he loves you.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“It was just a fling. He doesn’t want her. He wants you.”

“Do you know her?”

“I have a vague memory of her from the holiday party. Blonde, I think—she doesn’t hold a candle to you. And once she’s gone, you can put this behind you, and it will be like it never happened.”

“She’s having his baby, Diane. This isn’t going away.”

It was Tuesday night before Lina managed to sleep, and “sleep” was a generous term for the fitful slumber she fell into, filled with disturbing dreams that had her crying out and forcing Phil to wake her.

“It’s okay,” he’d whisper, pulling her back into the warmth of his body. “You’re dreaming. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” And so it went all night as the nightmares that normally only plagued Lina when Phil was away came with a vengeance, and the one person who was able to bring her comfort was the same man whose actions had brought them on.

Phil arrived home just before 7:00 the following evening, laden with carryout bags from a local barbeque restaurant. As Lina watched her children eating ribs, French fries and coleslaw, she was struck with how ordinary everything seemed. Megan was dominating the conversation with a description of decoration plans for her dorm room, Logan was eating with the gusto of a person who hadn’t eaten in weeks, and Katie was nibbling on a French fry while staring at the cell phone she thought no one could see in her lap. It was all so normal, and yet nothing would ever be normal again because there was a woman pregnant with their half sibling.

It was too much. Sitting there pretending nothing was wrong. “Excuse me,” Lina whispered as she pushed back her chair, and then she was fleeing from the table and running out onto the deck.