“I don’t like him, I love him. And he loves me. He reads to me, and he takes me to see the puffins. He taught me knots. He’s going to teach me to sail this summer. He promised.”

Guilt sucked her down like water in a whirlpool. How did you explain to a child of six that a man had other things to do with his time?

She stroked the child’s hair, trying to calm her. “There are lots of people on the island who can teach you to sail. Rachel, for instance.”

“I want Ryan to do it. I love Ryan and so do you.”

“That’s not true.” How could the words of a child cause this sudden feeling of panic? “I like Ryan a lot, but I don’t love him.”

“Yes, you do. He makes you smile. That day on the beach when you were sick, he took care of you. And he taught you to swim. You wanted him to do it and no one else.”

“I—”

“Rachel says it’s because you trust him. And that’s why you wanted him to take us in his boat.”

“Trust, yes. But not love.” Emily’s mouth was dry. She told herself children said things they didn’t understand. “I don’t love him.”

“Why doesn’t he come?”

“Because he doesn’t know you’re in the hospital.”

“He’d want to know.” She said it firmly, and Emily forced herself to breathe slowly.

“It’s complicated, Lizzy. When you’re older, I’ll explain it to you.”

“I already know why.”

“You do?”

“Yes. It’s because he’s scared of hospitals. He said so.”

“That isn’t why. We’re his friends, Lizzy, but we’re not his family. He doesn’t love us in that way.”

“Skylar says friends can be better than family. She says you, she and Brittany are like sisters.”

“That’s true, we are, but—” How did you explain this to a child? “That isn’t the way it is with Ryan. He has other people in his life to think about. He’s taking his grandmother to look at somewhere new to live today. She’ll be able to tell us all about it when we see her next.”

“I already know. She wants a house that isn’t so big.” Lizzy’s face crumpled. “I want Ryan. I want him to tell me the story about Abbie and the hens.”

“As soon as we’re back home, I’ll ask him to come and tell you the story.” She stroked Lizzy’s hair and then looked up as a nurse came into the room. “She just woke up. She feels cooler.”

The nurse checked the reading. “Her temperature is down. That’s a good sign.”

Emily was willing to grab any piece of good news. “What happens now?”

“We wait for these results, but she seems to have turned a corner.”