Back A Summer of Firsts Save as PDF
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Back Cover Text
  3. Praise
  4. Booklist
  5. The Goodbye Quilt
  6. Dedication
  7. Day One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Day Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Day Three
  14. Chapter Five
  15. Day Four
  16. Chapter Six
  17. Day Five
  18. Chapter Seven
  19. Chapter Eight
  20. Chapter Nine
  21. Day Six
  22. Chapter Ten
  23. Chapter Eleven
  24. Day Seven
  25. Chapter Twelve
  26. Chapter Thirteen
  27. Chapter Fourteen
  28. Epilogue
  29. Acknowledgments
  30. First Time in Forever
  31. Dedication
  32. Epigraph
  33. Chapter One
  34. Chapter Two
  35. Chapter Three
  36. Chapter Four
  37. Chapter Five
  38. Chapter Six
  39. Chapter Seven
  40. Chapter Eight
  41. Chapter Nine
  42. Chapter Ten
  43. Chapter Eleven
  44. Chapter Twelve
  45. Chapter Thirteen
  46. Chapter Fourteen
  47. Chapter Fifteen
  48. Chapter Sixteen
  49. Chapter Seventeen
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Excerpt
  52. BPA

“The whole time. I’ll be able to hear you.”

“Will Ryan be there, too?”

“For a while, but then he’ll be going home.”

“I like it when he’s here. I wish he could stay.”

I wish he could stay, too.

“He has to go home.” Emily tucked the patchwork quilt around the little girl and the bear. “And you need to go to sleep.”

“Maybe he could do a sleepover one night, like I did with Summer and Harry.”

Emily felt her tummy tighten. “We’ll talk about that another time.”

“Can Cocoa sleep on my bed tonight in case the storm comes back?”

“I’ll ask Ryan.”

“Can we swim in the sea again tomorrow?”

The questions were endless, a ruse to postpone the moment when Emily left the room.

“It depends on the weather.” She sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Lizzy’s hair. “Are you still scared? I could sit with you if you like.”

“No.” Lizzy’s eyes were drifting shut. “I’m going to think about Abbie in the storm. She was brave.”

“She was.”

“Emily?”

She paused, waiting for another question. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

Caught off guard, Emily felt her heart miss a beat and the breath jam in her throat.

It hadn’t been a question, but still a declaration like that demanded a response and how was she going to respond?

Of all the things that scared her in life, this scared her the most.

More even than walking into the sea and swimming.

She thought of what Ryan had said about fear. She thought of Abbie keeping the lamps burning in the storm.

And then she closed her eyes and took the leap. “I love you, too.”

* * *

“Is she asleep?” Ryan offered her a beer, but Emily shook her head and walked to the window, her expression dazed. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” She wrapped her arms around herself, staring straight ahead. “I’ve lived my whole life trying to stop this happening.”

Ryan put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “What?”

“She told me she loved me.” Her voice shook slightly, and he saw emotion shimmer in those green eyes, along with something else.

“And that scared the hell out of you.”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t do this, Ryan. I don’t want this.”

“You don’t want her to love you? You’re scared because she’s putting all her trust in you, depending on you?”

There was a long silence, and then she lifted her face to his. “No, I’m scared because I love her back.”

“Emily—”

“She’s been with me for a matter of weeks, and I was so sure I had this under control.”

“Feelings are the hardest thing in life to control.”

She raked shaking fingers through her hair. “What am I going to do?”