Maybe she should have waited for Ryan. He would have come with her, she knew, but she also knew this was something she had to do by herself. It was her fear to conquer, and no one could do that for her. It felt as if she’d climbed almost to the top of Everest and was only a few steps from the summit. She didn’t have to do this, but she knew she would never feel whole until she did.

She told herself that she knew this beach, that she’d watched the ebb and flow of the tide enough times to know how the beach shelved. Here, in the perfect curve of Shell Cove, there were no dangerous currents, no riptides. The safety of the swimming was one of the many reasons Brittany was constantly being bothered by people wanting to buy the land. There was surely no more perfect spot in the whole of Maine.

She took a single step forward, and Lizzy took her hand, dancing over the small waves without fear.

“It’s freezing!” She squealed and laughed, while Emily watched, entertained and a little envious.

Had she ever been that carefree?

Had there ever been a time when she enjoyed the moment without worrying that something bad was about to happen? Had she ever lived without protecting herself?

“Aunt Emily—” Lizzy tugged her hand impatiently “—come on!”

And she realized that living in the moment was a choice, and she stepped forward and kept walking until the water was above her knees.

Another family joined them in the water, the children squealing as the father swung them high into the air.

Reassured by their presence, Emily scooped Lizzy into her arms and held her out of reach of the waves.

The water was midthigh, and she knew she didn’t need to go any deeper. This was enough for now. The ocean stretched ahead of her, calm today, sleeping in the warm afternoon sunshine. The surface sparkled, inviting, and Emily knew that it had to be now. It was the perfect time.

“Are you ready?” Steeling herself, she lowered Lizzy to the water and watched her kick out, confident as she started to swim. “Swim parallel to the shore. Stay in line with the beach. That’s it.”

Without allowing herself to think too much, Emily slid forward into the water, gasping as the coldness closed over her shoulders. Immediately she had the urge to stand up, to feel the reassuring pressure of the sand beneath her feet, but she fought the panic and forced herself to breathe and move her arms and legs in the same rhythmic strokes she’d used in the pool. She felt the gentle lift and fall of the water as she swam, felt the sea lick at the edges of her hair and her face, playful, not threatening.