For Emily, it hadn’t happened as a teenager, it had happened a few weeks before when she’d first met Ryan. And the discovery process was ongoing. She was beginning to think she didn’t know herself at all. “What happened?”

“I met him a week before we were due to go back to Boston. Something clicked between us. I’d never met anyone I could talk to the way I could talk to him. We spent every moment together.” Lisa gave a humorless laugh. “I often wonder if that’s been the root of my problems. That one perfect week ruined me for anything afterward.”

“You didn’t stay in touch?”

“I tried. I sent him emails, but they bounced so I guess he gave me an email that didn’t work.” Lisa shrugged. “I thought about him all the time, but then I met Mike. I’ve often wondered if it was my fault he had all those affairs. Because I was too closed off. My heart hurt, and I didn’t want it to hurt again. Does that make any sense?”

Emily thought about the way she’d protected herself after her sister had died. “Perfect sense.”

“Maybe Mike knew there was a tiny part of me I kept from him.”

“Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Did you think about leaving him?”

“All the time, but I didn’t want my babies to grow up without a father, and he was a good dad. If he’d been a terrible father I could have left for their sakes, but leaving for my own sake felt like the ultimate in selfishness.”

“Is it selfish to want a good life for yourself?”

“He was with one of his lovers when he died.” Lisa blurted the words out. “They had to cut both of them out of the car. I’m worried that one day the kids will look up the press coverage and find out the truth.”

“Oh, Lisa—” Emily reached across and took her hand.

“I just want to protect my babies.” Lisa’s eyes filled, and she groped for a tissue. “I want to stop anything bad happening to them. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

Emily’s mouth was dry as sand. “Why is it ridiculous?”