She flushed, because hadn’t she had that same thought herself? “You can’t judge a relationship from the outside. There is no right and wrong. Just what works for that couple.”

“I agree, but that’s not the only reason I know he’s a dick.”

Emily sighed. “What’s the other reason?”

“He let you go.”

Heat rushed through her. She was aware of his arm, locking her securely against him. Of the brush of his hard thigh against hers. “It wasn’t his fault. I’ve shut down that part of myself. I don’t want to feel anything.”

“If you were mine, I would have made you feel.” He spoke with quiet emphasis, his thumb moving in a gentle rhythm over her arm. “I wouldn’t have let you hide away.”

And that, she thought, was why being with him both excited and terrified her. “Ryan—”

“Who cared for Lana when she was born?”

“My mother had to. It helped that Lana was very pretty. My mother discovered it got her attention and she liked that. Used it. I’ve often wondered if her childhood contributed to the person Lana became. She was insecure. She learned early how to make her looks work for her. When Lana was about seven, my mother met someone. He was older, no kids of his own. He owned a nice house in a good neighborhood and we moved in.”

Ryan stilled. “Is this going to end badly? Because if so, I might need to top up my wineglass.”

“No. He was a good man. And that’s the weird part because I never understood what he saw in my mother. I think it was complicated. Something to do with having lost his own daughter to drugs and wishing he’d done more. I don’t know. At the time, I didn’t question it. For the first time in my life I had a room of my own, plenty to eat and access to all the books I could read. Those books saved me. I spent my time lost in worlds that didn’t look anything like the one I was living in. I studied hard because I didn’t want a life like my mother’s. It was because of him I went to college and met Brittany and Sky. When he died, he left me money. I think he knew if he didn’t give it directly to me, my mother would drink her way through it.”

“And Lana?”

“She was scouted on the subway one day. She worked a short time as a model, then turned to acting and loved it. I think because it gave her the perfect way of avoiding reality. Each film represented a new fake reality. That’s why she fell in love with her leading men. To her it was real. And when the filming ended, so did the relationship. Every time.”

“Do you think she meant to have Lizzy?”