“Your mother didn’t come back?”

“Not right then. Katy was bored and she kept trying to eat the sand. I had to find a way of occupying her, so I carried her to the sea. I thought I’d put her toes in the water. I didn’t intend to go in deeper, but she loved it so much and she was squealing and wanting more, so I carried her in until I was up to my knees.”

“There were other people around you?”

“Yes. It was busy. We splashed for a while, and then we went a little deeper and—” Her heart was pumping hard. “I don’t know what happened next. Maybe the beach shelved sharply, or maybe someone had dug a deep hole. Either way I stepped and there was nothing under my feet. I felt the water rush into my nose and ears, and I tried to find the bottom but it wasn’t there, so then I tried to push Katy up so that she could breathe, but she was too heavy and my arms couldn’t hold her.” She felt it again, the rush of the water and the feeling of panic and utter helplessness. “I kicked and struggled, but I could feel the water pulling me. It was so powerful.”

“You were caught in a rip current.”

“I don’t remember anything else until I came around on the beach. I remember being sick, and all these adults crowded around me. I looked around for Katy, but she wasn’t there. I must have let go of her when I lost consciousness. They mounted a search and found her—”

She felt his arms come around her, heard him murmur I’m so sorry, and you poor baby, against her hair, while he held her tightly.

“Then my mother reappeared. She was hysterical, but looking back on it, I don’t think it was because of Katy. I think it was because she was afraid she might be charged with neglect.”

“Was she?”

“No. The authorities got involved, but in the end they decided it was a terrible accident. I don’t know what she said to them and I think we were followed up for a while, but nothing ever happened.”

“Did anyone question you?”

“They tried to, but I couldn’t speak.”

“You were in shock.”