Back A Summer of Firsts
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Back Cover Text
  3. Praise
  4. Booklist
  5. The Goodbye Quilt
  6. Dedication
  7. Day One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Day Two
  11. Chapter Three
  12. Chapter Four
  13. Day Three
  14. Chapter Five
  15. Day Four
  16. Chapter Six
  17. Day Five
  18. Chapter Seven
  19. Chapter Eight
  20. Chapter Nine
  21. Day Six
  22. Chapter Ten
  23. Chapter Eleven
  24. Day Seven
  25. Chapter Twelve
  26. Chapter Thirteen
  27. Chapter Fourteen
  28. Epilogue
  29. Acknowledgments
  30. First Time in Forever
  31. Dedication
  32. Epigraph
  33. Chapter One
  34. Chapter Two
  35. Chapter Three
  36. Chapter Four
  37. Chapter Five
  38. Chapter Six
  39. Chapter Seven
  40. Chapter Eight
  41. Chapter Nine
  42. Chapter Ten
  43. Chapter Eleven
  44. Chapter Twelve
  45. Chapter Thirteen
  46. Chapter Fourteen
  47. Chapter Fifteen
  48. Chapter Sixteen
  49. Chapter Seventeen
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Excerpt
  52. BPA

“She’s safe. Everything is fine.” It was all about the tone, not the words. His voice was deep and level, designed to reduce her panic. Except that her panic had gone too far to be reduced so easily. Her heart was pounding, and her breaths were coming in ragged gasps. She felt dizzy and detached, as if she were falling into a deep, dark hole. The loss of control terrified her.

“Ryan—”

“I know. I want you to stop taking those big gulping breaths because they’re making you dizzy. Close your mouth, pretend you’re blowing out a candle. That’s it. Just like that.” His hand moved up and down her spine, long, slow gentle strokes that soothed and calmed. “I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She clung to his shoulders, to hard muscle and warm strength. He was the only solid, safe thing in her world, and she held on like a climber about to fall from a rock face. “Lizzy—”

“She’s safe, right here. You’re both safe.”

From somewhere in the darkness she heard Lizzy’s voice. “Is she sick? Is she going to die?”

She didn’t hear his response because the sky and his face started to spin together, and she realized with horrible clarity that she was going to pass out. And if she passed out she wouldn’t be there for the child. “She can’t go in the sea. She mustn’t go in the sea. Promise me.”

“No one is going in the sea.” His voice was strong and sure. “You need to relax.”

She tried to say something. Tried to tell him she couldn’t relax. She wanted to warn him he needed to take care of Lizzy, but then darkness poured in where there should have been light, and the last thing she remembered were powerful arms catching her as she fell.

* * *

He’d never seen anyone so pale. Lying on the sofa back in Castaway Cottage, Emily’s cheeks were as white as a Maine winter, the only color in her face the dark shadow of her lashes and the soft pink of her mouth. Still shaken by the moment she’d crumpled in front of him, Ryan reached for his phone and was about to call the medical center when she opened her eyes.

“Thank God.” He put the phone down so that he could have both hands free if she passed out on him again. “You had me seriously worried.” He’d handled panic attacks before, but none as acute and inexplicable as the one he’d just witnessed. He wanted to understand the cause. A glance at their surroundings had revealed nothing obvious, and gentle questioning of Lizzy had revealed no clues.