‘Nothing like you said it would,’ George said with a chortle.

‘Oh, what happened then?’ Sarah asked.

‘We were sat in my van, and I said everything like you suggested, but she suddenly turned into a crazy woman. First, she slapped me around the face, then she accused me of all sorts and called me every name under the sun. I was shocked, to say the least. I thought she was such a sweet little thing, but she turned the air blue with her language. Honestly, Sarah, I’ve never even heard a navvy swear like that. Once she’d said her piece, she got out of the van and slammed the door. Thank Gawd for that, I thought to myself, thinking that was the end of it, but then she started whacking my van with her handbag. I was trying to turn the keys in the ignition, and in all my fumbling, I dropped them. By the time I managed to get started and drive off, she’d knocked off my wing mirror!’

‘Blimey, George, sounds like you had a lucky escape and did the right thing by dumping her. Cor, can you imagine what it would have been like if you’d been married and had upset her in any way? Has she done much other damage to your van?’ Sarah asked, trying to hold in a fit of giggles. She shouldn’t laugh, she thought, it had obviously been quite traumatic for George.

‘Thankfully not a lot, just a couple of dents on the bonnet. She’s as nutty as a blinking fruitcake, but who’d have thought it, eh? Wait ’til I see that Kath, I shall be having words with her about her mental niece!’

Sarah began to chuckle and George asked indignantly, ‘What’s so funny? I’ve just had an encounter with the devil woman, and you find it amusing?’

Sarah’s chuckle turned to a giggle, and tears began to roll down her face. ‘Oh, George,’ she managed to splutter but couldn’t stop laughing. ‘I can just imagine the look on your face when she hit you. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall.’

‘She frightened the bloomin’ life out of me.’

Her giggling must have been infectious, as George started laughing too. ‘That’s the last blinking time I take any advice from you about women,’ he said. ‘I don’t know why we’re laughing, I was scared for my life.’

Sarah laughed harder. ‘George, Julie is tiny compared to you. I can’t believe you were scared of her.’

‘You’re horrible to me, you are. I don’t know why I love you,’ George said.