Chapters (7)
‘He died,’ Auntie Mei said. She had, every day of her marriage, wished that her husband would stop being part of her life, though not in so absolute a manner. Now, years later, she still felt responsible for his death, as though it were she, and not a group of teenagers, who had accosted him that night. Why didn’t you just let them take the money? Sometimes Auntie Mei scolded him when she tired of talking to herself. Thirty-five dollars for a life, three months short of fifty-two.
‘Was he much older than you?’
‘Older, yes, but not too old.’
‘My husband is twenty-eight years older than I am,’ Chanel said. ‘I bet you didn’t guess that.’
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘Is it that I look old or that he looks young?’
‘You look like a good match.’
‘Still, he’ll probably die before me, right? Women live longer than men, and he’s had a head start.’
So you, too, are eager to be freed. Let me tell you, it’s bad enough when a wish like that doesn’t come true, but, if it ever does, that’s when you know that living is a most disappointing business: the world is not a bright place to start with, but a senseless wish granted senselessly makes it much dimmer. ‘Don’t speak nonsense,’ Auntie Mei said.
‘I’m only stating the truth. How did your husband die? Was it a heart attack?’
‘You could say that,’ Auntie Mei said, and before Chanel could ask more questions Auntie Mei grabbed one of her erring breasts. Chanel gasped and then screamed. Auntie Mei did not let go until she’d given the breast a forceful massage. When she reached for the other breast, Chanel screamed louder but did not change her position, for fear of crushing Baby, perhaps.
Afterwards, Auntie Mei brought a warm towel. ‘Go,’ Chanel said. ‘I don’t want you here any more.’
‘But who’ll take care of you?’
‘I don’t need anyone to take care of me.’ Chanel stood up and belted her robe.
‘And Baby?’
‘Bad luck for him.’
Chanel walked to the staircase, her back defiantly rigid. Auntie Mei picked up Baby, his weight as insignificant as the emotions – sadness, anger, or dismay – that she should feel on his behalf. Rather, Auntie Mei was in awe of the young woman. That is how, Auntie Mei said to herself, a mother orphans a child.