Nicole had no direction. She had major decisions to make, but she was too overwhelmed by everything to make them. She was terrified. For years she’d planned every move she’d made, every part she’d taken, but she hadn’t planned for this to happen.

She needed to talk it all through, but with Milly unavailable, there was no one she could trust. Justin had been the first person she’d allowed herself to trust in a long while, and that had turned out to be a mistake.

In the past, even when surrounded by people who wanted things from her, she’d never felt lonely because in the back of her mind she knew that whatever happened she had Milly and their friendship had felt like a security blanket, but that had been yanked away. Now she really was alone. Completely alone at a time in her life when she desperately needed a true friend.

She had to figure things out on her own. Make decisions on her own.

For once she had to focus on herself and not a part she was playing, but thinking about herself took her right back to the beginning.

Nicole had been ten years old when she’d realized that she needed to change. Being herself just wasn’t enough for her mother. It was impossible not to notice that the other children’s parents always seemed proud. They clapped loudly at school plays and concerts, they cheered from the sidelines during sports matches, they beamed with delight at the artwork displayed on classroom walls. Amy Clayton’s mother had actually clapped her hands when she’d seen Amy’s self-portrait as if her daughter had painted the Mona Lisa, which she most definitely hadn’t (Nicole had actually seen the Mona Lisa on a trip to Paris with her mother, and Amy’s random splodges didn’t come close). All of which proved to Nicole that there was something wrong with her.

She was determined to be the child her mother wanted, someone her mother would be proud of, but how was she going to achieve that?

She envied her friend Milly, who never had to earn praise or affection. Both seemed to be in unlimited supply in her household, her loving relationship with her mother and grandmother so different from Nicole’s own experience that sitting in their cozy kitchen was like landing on an alien planet.

The only thing her own mother seemed to appreciate was academic attainment, so Nicole threw herself into that, but she knew that no matter how hard she worked she was never going to gain straight A’s, so that was unlikely to yield the approval she craved.

Her gift seemed to be entertaining people. Making the other children laugh. She was a wickedly good mimic, imitating teachers when they were out of the classroom and once calling the school office pretending to be someone’s parent so that they could be excused from sports.