Rosie was married now. She didn’t need to get into lengthy exchanges with her twin sister. And at this precise moment Becky didn’t feel robust enough to handle Rosie cooing over how fantastic Declan was – how he’d fixed her laptop again (Becky had often fixed her sister’s laptop and had never be on the receiving end of even a fraction of the love and appreciation that Declan was shown for performing the same task) or how perfect Declan was (he certainly hadn’t been perfect when Becky had worked with him, and not just because he always left the milk out of the fridge). And honestly Becky was happy for her. She adored her sister, and she believed that if there was ever a moment when life wasn’t dumping crap in your lap, then you should make the most of it.

But being relegated to the second most important person in her sister’s life wasn’t easy, and training herself not to contact her sister at all hours of the day required a discipline that was exhausting.

Emojis were okay weren’t they? Emojis didn’t intrude on her twin’s personal space.

She could hardly register the fact that Rosie was married, even though she’d been at the wedding. This was going to be the first time the whole family had been together since that day in February. Their first family Christmas with an extra member of the family (two extra members if you counted Jamie’s girlfriend). Rosie’s first Christmas married to Declan. The first Christmas that Becky and Rosie wouldn’t be up at dawn poking presents together. Rosie would be in bed with Declan. Sleeping. Or not. Maybe she’d be doing more exciting things than sleeping. Jamie would be in bed with his girlfriend, probably not sleeping.

And she’d be in bed on her own. Or maybe with the dog if she could sneak him into her room without her mother seeing.

Becky felt horribly flat. Not gloomy exactly, but close to it.

Christmas was going to be different. And not in a good way, at least for her.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to go at all.

But if she stayed in London she’d break her mother’s heart. And very possibly her own. Also, she needed to check out this woman Jamie had met. Turned out the sibling bond was stronger than the need for self-preservation.

She’d be okay. Her superpower was hiding her feelings, not just from other people but also from herself. She worked on the principle that if you didn’t acknowledge something, then you could pretend it wasn’t there.