«It's started, hasn't it?»

I hadn't heard her sound so wretched since the last miscarriage. Guilt rose from a core of darkness at the centre of my mind, staining every thought. How would I react if she ever went ahead and did something I considered the antithesis of all I believed in?

«Yes.»

She nodded mutely. There wasn't any anger in her. She was lost, totally rejected.

«Please, Jocelyn. It's really just a sophisticated form of virtual reality. I'm not letting anyone tinker with my genes.»

«Why do you do that? Why do you treat me as though my opinions don't matter, or they're bound to be wrong? Why must you talk as if I'm a child who will understand and thank you once you've explained in the simplest possible terms? I lost our children, not my mind. I gave up my life for you, Harvey.»

Right then, if I could have pulled the symbionts out, I think I would have done it. I really do. Christ, how do I land myself into these situations?

«All right.» I reached out tentatively, and put my hand on her shoulder. She didn't flinch away, which was something, I suppose. «I'm sorry I did that, it was stupid. And if you've been hurt by coming here, by me having the symbiont implant, then I want you to know it was never deliberate. Christ, I don't know, Jocelyn; my life is so straightforward, all mapped out by the personnel computer at Delph's headquarters. I just do what they tell me, it's all I can do. Maybe I don't take the time to think like I should.»

«Your career is straightforward,» she said softly. «Not your life. We're your life, Harvey, me and the twins.»

«Yes.»

A faint resigned smile registered on her lips. «They like it here.»

«I really didn't know the other kids in the arcology were tough on them.»

«Me neither.»

«Look, Jocelyn . . . I saw Father Cooke yesterday.»

«What about him?»

«He's a smart old boy; that's what. Perhaps I should go and see him again. I'm not too proud to ask for help.»

«You'd do that?» she asked, uncertainty gave her voice a waver.

«Yes, I'd do that.»

«I don't want us to be like this, Harvey. It was good before.»

«Yeah. Which means it can be again, I suppose. I'll go and see Cooke, then, find out what he's got to say about us. Uh, I'm not sure if I can do it today.»

«I know. The Maowkavitz case.»

«Her and Boston. Everything always comes at once, doesn't it?»

«And at the worst time. But that's something I knew even before I married you.»

• • •

It was Eden which guided me to Wing-Tsit Chong's residence, that echo of a voice whispering directions into my brain. I drove myself there right after breakfast, it was too early for Nyberg to be on duty. I didn't feel like her company anyway. But I had a rising sense of satisfaction as I steered the jeep along a track through the parkland; at least Jocelyn and I were talking again.