A shudder rented through her as she recalled the man’s words: Being poor is a tedious business. I intend to avoid it at all costs

And now he would pay with his life.

“My God. Did my uncle know?”

“It doesn’t appear so. He has had a rather large number of lapses in judgment lately. Most likely he has been in decline for much longer than anyone realized.”

“Yes, I thought the same.” Lottie glanced down and ran a finger along the lapels of his jacket. “You saw him, then?”

“We talked for a long while.”

Lottie hesitated, but Alec needed to know the truth. “Did he tell you about your mother, and the work she did for him?”

“He did.”

Lottie pulled back and stared into his eyes. The coldness that had always accompanied any mention of his parents was entirely gone. Now he looked broken. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I learned everything from him yesterday. That must have been so upsetting for you.”

Alec dipped his chin, as if her words embarrassed him. “It was something of a comfort to know the truth behind why she left, but I’ve realized I let her absence dictate far too much for too long.”

“Alec, you didn’t—”

He held up a finger to her lips. “Please, just listen before you say anything. I know I don’t deserve such an indulgence, but I’ve had a long time to think on everything these last few days.

“It would be so easy to blame all my troubles on Sir Alfred, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling angry or bitter over the mistakes of others.” He paused as his eyes lingered on her face. “Or continue letting those mistakes dictate my life. Like I did five years ago.”

Lottie had to take a long breath before she could speak, and even then her voice still trembled. “What do you mean?”

Alec tilted her chin once more, and the tenderness in his gaze was as intoxicating as it was terrifying. “What you said in Venice. You were right about everything. About me. I spent all these years trying to make myself forget you. Trying to force everything I ever felt for you into nothingness.” Lottie tried to glance away, but Alec stopped her. “But it didn’t work. Lottie, it never worked.” He began to gently stroke her cheek and she remembered to breathe. “The morning after your ball, I came to Sir Alfred and asked to court you properly. I said that though I had always loved you, at some point I had fallen in love with you. Irrevocably.” His words were strangely humbling. How long she had ached to hear them. Lottie reached up and covered his hand with her own. Alec cleared his throat and looked away. “But then I walked away at the first sign of trouble.”

Lottie couldn’t stand the guilt that now seemed to consume him. “You were deceived.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he insisted. “Sir Alfred said I could have told him to go to hell that day, and he was right. I could have told you the truth about my parents as soon as I found out, but I ran instead. I chose to put my life in danger rather than reveal any weakness to you. I told myself I was doing what was best for you. That it was a sacrifice. But I didn’t trust you to accept me. Because I was a coward. And I didn’t deserve you for that reason alone. Never mind the hundred other ones.” He raked a desperate hand through his hair, further rumpling the already disheveled waves. It looked as if he had barely slept in days. Just like her.