My heart is broken without you, Jimmy, and to my shame there have been times when I have contemplated joining you, my darling, for I have not an ounce of vim or vigour these days and find myself giving in to Mother’s will. Although I do know that she has Lara’s best interests at heart and that is what matters most. Perhaps the light will return for me when I’m in London doing my bit for the war effort – I truly hope so. I wish with all my being that I could keep Lara with me but Mother will not hear of it. She says Lara looks to her as her mother and I understand that she does because I have not been able to care for her properly. So it is probably for the best this way as nobody in London will know the shame I’ve brought on my family. Mother also says that if I have any love at all for Lara then she must always be kept a secret and that I should refer to her as my young sister so she is not tainted as a child born out of wedlock. I must do that for her and not put my own selfish needs before hers. But our darling Lara will never be a secret for me because she is a part of you, and I will always hold her in my heart for she’s the most beautiful baby I have ever seen, and with the sweetest temperament. Her eyes are emerald green and framed with thick, dark lashes just like yours, my love, and her hair too; ebony curls, so soft and silky. I love to brush her beautiful baby hair but Mother says the curls are too long and must be cut off short if her hair is ever to thicken …