‘So, my lovers. Sun’s out in time for one of the upcoming highlights of the festival. Our very own celebrity chef, Gabe Mathias, is going to cook up a storm in the Chef’s Theatre. Who needs Love Island when you can watch Gabe in action with a courgette? Get in early for a front row seat because what that man can’t do with a vegetable isn’t worth knowing. If I was thirty years younger, I’d certainly be offering to slice his aubergines.’

Sam gasped. ‘What is this, the Victoria Wood show?’

Gabe spluttered. ‘The punters love it.’

‘It’s also X-rated. I’ll have to ask Evie to tone it down. There are kids around.’

Gabe grabbed her. ‘Don’t. It’s hilarious and look …’ People were already starting to move towards the Chef’s Theatre in droves.

‘I’d better get down there and start to do my prep. Mind you, how can I possibly live up to that billing, now?’

With a lightning-fast peck on the cheek, Gabe scurried off. Sam headed in the opposite direction and found Troy walking out of the Institute. Evie was exhorting people to fill their bags with local produce from the festival market and not to miss the gigantic cucumbers on the organic fruit and veg stall. People were tittering and smirking but it seemed to be working.

‘Hey. Troy. Did you know Evie was such a star?’

Troy chuckled. ‘She does the bingo calling at the memorial hall every Friday and her mum loved am dram. Evie used to be in Porthmellow Musical Theatre back in the day but they can’t get enough people under seventy to play the parts now. No one wants to be Yum Yum or Thoroughly Modern Millie these days.’

‘I’d no idea she was an entertainer,’ said Sam.

‘She’d have stepped in straightaway but she can’t move so fast, as you know, and I thought Bryony couldn’t do too much damage for five minutes. Evie had to wrestle the mic from her, but fortunately Sacha took a liking to a Labrador and Bryony had to prise them apart before they did the business on the steps of the Institute.’

Sam burst out laughing, then felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

‘Are you going to make time to watch Gabe do his turn in the theatre?’ asked Troy.

‘I um … I want to but … damn.’ Her heart sank as she read a message from one of the stewards. ‘Those two confectionery stallholders are kicking off again about being side by side. I genuinely thought we’d separated them but now it looks like we’ve got Fudgegate on our hands. I’d better go and keep the peace.’

‘I’ll sort the buggers out,’ said Troy. ‘You should go and watch his Highness.’ He peered at her. ‘You look done in already, my girl. You need a break. Have you had anything to eat?’