Marion stood in front of me, holding out the piece of paper that she had sworn would explain it all. I took it from her, noting the wildly shaking fingers and the pale, pale skin of her face.

What she handed me was a suicide note written by Wendell. He had penned it from the hospital bed on Sunday night, the night before he was killed.

My dear family, I write this with a heavy heart, my sorrow so deep I can scarcely find the words to say what I must say. This is my final goodbye, my suicide anthem. I only pray that one day you will all find it in your hearts to forgive me.

I offer no justification for what I am doing, only the hope that you won’t hate me for my actions. Unlike all of you, I witnessed my own mother’s demise this way. In my nightmares, I still hear her screams of pain. I cannot and will not let that happen to me. I am afraid of the suffering that begins tomorrow and will only end in death anyway.

My only regret is all of this business with the company and my disappointment with those responsible. I will make things right, and then I will do what I have to do. But once I’m gone, let this weigh on you, Alan, for the rest of your life: I thought you were a trusted friend and employee, but you broke this dying old man’s heart.

As for you, Marion, I can only ask for your forgiveness for this, the coward’s way out. Surely once the pain of my death has receded, you will understand that it was for the best. You have given me a loving home and family and more wonderful years together than any man has the right to ask for. I love you with all of my heart and always will. Better I die now and leave you with memories of me intact and whole.

Derek, Judith, Sidra, Carlos—I love you. To everyone, I say, God bless you all. You have loved and cared for me for many years, and if the Lord can forgive me for this one final, desperate act, I await that day that we are all joined together again in heaven.

With love and deep affection,

Wendell (Dad and Grandpa)

I looked up, tears filling my eyes. Wendell had been planning to kill himself. He sat in that hospital bed awaiting his operation, knowing it wasn’t going to happen, knowing he would kill himself first, as soon as he finished setting things right in his company.

“Nick went to see Wendell Sunday evening after the rest of us had left the hospital,” Marion said. “When he got there, Wendell gave him this note in a sealed envelope and told him he was to hang onto it until the operation and then give it to me.”