With a hearty laugh, he added: ‘And I can assure you, Monsieur, that a very good time is had by all!’

‘What, here?’

‘Oh yes, Monsieur, here most especially.’

‘You do surprise me.’

‘But when you think, Monsieur! The whole thing is … none of our members has to experience fear of death. That’s what spoils every imaginable pleasure on earth!’

‘But if they belong to this club, how is it they don’t actually commit suicide?’

‘Oh, that’s not a prerequisite to membership. You don’t have to kill yourself to belong.’

‘Well how does it work then?’

‘Let me explain. Given the unacceptably high and rising rate of suicide and given the appalling spectacle it offers to the public at large, a charitable society was formed whose sole mission was to provide a haven for the desperate and a means whereby they could avail themselves of peaceful death which would also be … how shall I put it … undreaded.’

‘Who on earth could you get to authorize something like that?’

‘Oh, General Boulanger,4 during his brief period in power. He was hugely generous over this. In fact, it was probably the only good thing he managed to achieve, as it happens. So, as I say, a charity was set up by a body of well-informed, clear-sighted, and … unsentimental men. They decided to build, right in the middle of Paris, a kind of temple of contempt for death. To start with people were extremely frightened of this place. Nobody would come near it. Then the founders put on a big gala evening on the premises to launch it. Madame Sarah Bernhardt attended it, as well as Judic, Théo, Granier and a number of other stars including Monsieur de Reszké, Coquelin, Mounet-Sully, and Paulus.5 Following that, they produced a series of concerts. And finally a season of plays. They put on Dumas, Meilhac, Halévy and Sardou.6 We only had one flop and that was a piece by Monsieur Becque7 which was seen as a bit of a downer here but it went on to become a huge success at the Comédie Française8. In the end, le tout Paris came and the place took off from then on, really.’

‘Party time! How macabre!’

‘Not at all. Death needn’t be sad. Simply neutral or indifferent, that’s all. We’ve even made it fun! We’ve made it fragrant! We’ve made it flowery! We’re learning by doing. People see there’s nothing to it, after all!’

‘I can see how people might come for a bit of a celebration but … did anybody come for … that?’

‘Not immediately, no. People were afraid.’

‘But what about later on?’

‘Yes, people came.’

‘Lots?’

‘Masses. We’ve had more than forty a day. Almost as many as drownings in the Seine.’

‘Who started the whole thing off?’

‘Oh, one of our members, actually.’

‘A real enthusiast, then?’