Carol didn’t come back. Maybe she really was next door, sitting down to dinner with Zoe. Then Theresa remembered that Carol had been given a delivery order and she must be out around the town, driving. Theresa recalled that, while she had been away, Carol had been stranded, the van broken down, but she had got it going herself. Theresa giggled at the thought of her lying under the chassis, blood-red varnished nails and impeccable make-up, sorting out the engine.

Suddenly, William burst into the kitchen, interrupting her fantasy.

‘I can’t witness another creepy fawning moment from my apparent beloved. Much as I am a fan of the opulent Odile, I’m feeling quite sick from the syrupy benevolence pouring out of Benjamin’s every orifice . . . well, not every . . . that would be vile. But you know what I mean, Theresa. And no, before you say it, I can’t afford a divorce.’

He spun around, seized an apron from behind the door and put it on.

‘So, dearest? Where do you want me?’

Theresa was coping perfectly so didn’t really want William in here at all.

‘Isn’t Carol off on a delivery?’ she suggested. ‘Will Benjamin be able to manage without you?’

‘He’ll bloody well have to, the sycophantic little crawler.’ William grabbed a spoon and started pointlessly stirring a pan of stewed apples. ‘The smarmy, toadying creep can certainly manage three tables on his own.’

‘How’s Zoe doing?’

William gave an exasperated groan. ‘She only went up to Odile and said, “Good evening, you old slapper!” I could have died on the spot.’

‘How did Odile take it?’

‘She gave Zoe the up and down and replied, “From an old broad like yourself I take that as a sublime compliment.”’

‘Well, that’s all right then.’ Theresa laughed. ‘Isn’t it?’

‘No, it isn’t. Not only that, but the dusty little man in the corner is being quite demanding, when all we need to do is keep Odile happy.’ He rubbed his chin and screwed up his eyes. ‘I have an idea. How far on are you with everything in here?’

‘Only dessert to go, and they’re practically ready.’

He took Theresa by the shoulders and twisted her round till she was facing the dining room.

‘Don’t do that, William.’ Theresa balanced herself by clutching the edge of the counter. ‘You’re making me feel quite dizzy.’

He untied the knot of her apron, then fluffed up her hair.

‘Now, elegant Mrs Simmonds, you are going out to join Zoe at the table. Your duty tonight will be to keep Zoe under control. And, while you’re at it, you can edge my “other half” away from Odile. There’s nothing like overkill for ruining a good thing.’

‘But, I . . .’

‘Go on.’ He pushed Theresa towards the door. ‘Go out there and make your country proud!’