SHPIGELSKY

Really? Evidently, ladies don’t like it if we men have sharp eyes. Do everything their way, help them—and pretend all the while you don’t understand them. That’s how they are! Anyway, we’ll see. Rakitin is probably in the dumps, too.

LIZAVETA

Yes, he’s also not his old self today . . .

SHPIGELSKY

Hm. And Vera Alexandrovna? Belyaev?

LIZAVETA

Everybody, absolutely everybody, is out of sorts. I really don’t know what’s gotten into them all today.

SHPIGELSKY

Ignorance is bliss, Lizaveta Bogdanovna . . . Anyway, God be with them. Better talk about our own affairs. Shall we? You see, it’s still raining . . .

LIZAVETA

(Lowering her eyes mincingly) What are you asking me, Ignaty Ilyich?

SHPIGELSKY

Lizaveta Bogdanovna, let me tell you something: why on earth do you keep simpering and lowering your eyes like that? You and I are not young people. These niceties, endearments, sighs—none of it suits us. Let’s talk calmly, practically, as befits people our age. So, the question is this: we like each other . . . at least I assume you like me.

LIZAVETA

(Simpering slightly) Ignaty Ilyich, really . . .

SHPIGELSKY

Yes, yes, all right. As a woman, you even should . . . sort of . . . (Gesturing with his hand) . . . hedge a bit. So we like each other. And in other respects we also make a good pair. I must, of course, say of myself that I don’t have a high pedigree; but then you’re no aristocrat either. I’m not a rich man; otherwise I could just sort of . . . (Smiles) But I have a decent practice, not all my patients drop dead. You, from what you tell me, have fifteen thousand in cash. All that, you see, is not too bad. Besides, I imagine you’re sick of being an eternal governess. And this fussing over the old woman, playing cards with her, and “yessing” her in everything, also can’t be much fun. For my part, it’s not that I’m bored with bachelor life, but I’m getting older, and besides the cooks rob me. So, you see, it all falls together very nicely. But here’s the catch, Lizaveta Bogdanovna: you and I don’t know each other at all. That is, to tell the truth, you don’t know me . . . I do know you. I’m familiar with your character. I won’t say there are no shortcomings to be found in you. Your maidenly life has soured you a little, but that’s no matter. For a good husband, his wife is like soft wax. But I want you to know me, too, before the marriage; otherwise you might start blaming me afterwards . . . I don’t want to mislead you.

LIZAVETA

(With dignity) But, Ignaty Ilyich, I believe I have also had a chance to become familiar with your character . . .

SHPIGELSKY

You? Oh, come now . . . That’s not women’s business. For instance, you think I’m a cheerful, jolly fellow—right?