He sighs.

“Besides, I already know what it’s going to say. When I divorce you, I don’t get a penny. That’s exactly as it should be.” I skim the first page, but the text is dense, and there’s a lot of legalese. I navigate over to the world’s least comfortable sofa and sit down to read.

WHEREAS Cornelius Harmon Drake III is legally wedded to Charlotte Fern Higgins. This document sets forth the terms of their divorce. Upon divorce, the settlement of their affairs will proceed as follows. Charlotte Fern Higgins will receive a cash payment of $250,000…

I let out a choked-off shriek. “What the actual fuck! You never told me your family was stupid. Don’t they know I’m divorcing your ass for free?”

“Charli, they don’t know that. I’m warning you that document is going to be a tough read. And whatever they’re offering you—it won’t be worth it.”

I stare at that number for a long beat. All those zeroes. I’d never take that money from Neil. How would I even look him in the eye afterward? But now that number is sitting here on the sofa between us, like a hand grenade.

God. I feel a flare of anger at Neil, even though I know this wasn’t his idea. He’s still reading, easing the sheaf of papers out of my hands and flipping to the next page.

He makes a noise of pure disgust and folds the pages in half, like he’s shielding us both from what’s written there.

“Hey! I was reading that.”

Ignoring me, he makes a move to get up. I sense the window of opportunity closing, so I dive for the pages with the same one hundred percent commitment that I bring to each lunge for the puck.

And guess who’s the number-two scorer on her team? It was Neil’s mistake to try to be casual about his exit. Because I get my hands on those papers and clamp down with a vise-like grip. Then, with a forceful jerk, they’re mine.

“Charli,” he cautions, the tone of his voice uncharacteristically beaten.

“What?” I turn my body slightly away from him to protect my prize. He too is a professional athlete with top-notch reflexes.

He tries a different tactic. “Just don’t read that.”

“Why?”

“You’re not signing it.”

“Well, the financial part is garbage. But can’t we just cross out that number? We can write in ten dollars as a joke. I’ll let your family buy me a premium beer.”

“Just don’t,” he whispers.

I glance at him over my shoulder, and he honestly looks distraught. A nicer girl would hand back the documents. But I’m not that girl. I’m the desperately curious one with poor impulse control. I flip open to a random page.

Furthermore, Charlotte Fern Higgins will not reside within three miles of Cornelius Harmon Drake III. She will not approach him nearer than 200 yards. She will not call, text, email or otherwise contact him in any method either extant or invented in the future.