Because I hate October.

Chastity stumbles on a sidewalk crack, and my hand shoots out to catch her. But she doesn’t actually go down, and she quickly shakes off my hand.

Beside me, Kaitlyn is silent and probably fuming. Good thing I know just how to cheer her up. You have to play to your own strengths.

I’m not the most reliable guy. But I am a good time. Sometimes it’s enough.

THIRTY-SIX

Hockey stop

Chastity

The walk home sobers me up a little. One of the loud songs from the party is still playing in my brain, and every few minutes I catch myself humming. Maybe I don’t know how to hold my rum, but I had a good time with Rickie. He’d been sillier tonight than I’d expected him to be.

And he didn’t treat me like a child, the way Dylan does. I don’t need to be walked home like a puppy. The only upside is that Kaitlyn is super annoyed right now.

I swear I’m usually a nice person, but she brings out the worst in me.

When we get to the dorm, I expect Dylan and Kaitlyn to wave goodbye from the door and return to the party. But that’s not what happens. They walk inside with me. I press the elevator button because my feet are a little clumsy, and I don’t feel like proving anyone’s point by stumbling on the stairs.

I have to hold tightly to the remaining shreds of my dignity. Not that there are very many.

Upstairs, Dylan watches me unlock the door with slow fingers. “How’s your stomach?” he asks.

“Fine,” I insist.

“That’s good. I’m going to find you some Advil. If you take it now, you might not feel so bad in the morning.”

“Good idea,” I mumble. I go into my room and find my flannel pajamas.

I’m just removing my bra when Dylan walks in. “Whoa!” He turns around in a hurry. “Brought you a glass of water, too,” he says, facing the wrong direction.

“Thanks.” Dylan is really so nice to me. He feeds me. He looks after me. Except in the way that I really want him to…

“If you still feel okay at breakfast, we can study some algebra,” he says.

“Oh, we’re totally studying algebra.” I don’t know why he thinks I’m going to be wrecked by a couple mugs of spiked cider. Rickie didn’t think it was a big deal.

I button my top and tap him on the shoulder. “It’s safe to look now.” I take the glass of water out of his hand, and he smiles when he hands me the pills. “Sleep well.” He leans forward and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

A kiss from Dylan. But not the kiss I’m always dreaming about. “Thank you,” I say softly. “You, too.”

He turns and leaves me in my room alone, closing the door quietly behind him..

Tonight was fun and also a little humiliating. That’s how college is shaping up for me. I like the independence, even if Dylan thinks I can't handle it. And I can't live with Leah and Isaac forever.