“I understand.” I went back to taking cartons out of bags. “I would do the same for my pack.”

Van raised her hands up. “I can take it off, if that’s okay?”

I clenched my jaw and nodded. I could do this. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. I didn’t feel anything, but Van moved into my field of vision, examined my forehead, looking relieved. “It’s gone.” She stood there awkwardly for a second, shifting her weight, before she went back to the living room to see who needed another beer. Lou moved to my other side, making lots of noise and trying to stay in my sight as she started gathering plates. She was treating me like you would a feral creature. I both appreciated it and wanted to bare my teeth.

“These three I got with tofu, assuming you don’t eat meat.” I waved a hand at the containers, then opened several drawers until I found the silverware, taking out forks and serving spoons.

“That was very thoughtful,” Lou said, setting the plates on the counter. She reached out for me, and then froze, her hand hovering between us. My nostrils flared and she drew her hand back. “Despite her giggling, Van is very sorry. So is Trick.”

“I know.” I started filling my plate. I had a pretty hearty appetite usually, but I’d shifted earlier and I’d just come back from a run. This plate would be the first of many.

“Declan.” Lou paused, as if trying to figure out what she wanted to say. She straightened her shoulders. “This is our home. You understand?”

My stomach sank. I did understand. It was her home and she had a right to feel comfortable in it. Despite my intentions of getting through this, Lou wasn’t on board. I nodded, my throat tight.

“Which means anything that makes it easier for you, that makes you feel safer or more at ease here, you just let us know, okay?” She picked up one of the spoons, dishing up a large portion of pad see ew onto her plate. “I know we can all be assholes sometimes, but it’s meant to be in a good way.” She sighed. “We just sometimes need to be told we’re being assholes.”

My hand tightened on my spoon. When I didn’t answer, Lou didn’t push, just finished filling her plate, and headed back into the living room.

Her words finally sank in and relief hit my system. She didn’t want me to leave. They didn’t want me to leave. My vision suddenly turned blurry. My hands were full, so I tried to wipe my eyes on my shoulders to limited success.

Jim came in and picked up a plate. He saw me, set it back down, and held out his arms. “Do you need a hug, or is this a spicy food thing?”

I laughed, set down my spoon and plate, and opened my arms. He folded me into a hug that I honestly hadn’t realized I’d needed, Jim’s size making me feel small and safe, even though I’d just met him. After a minute, I leaned away, and he let me go without comment.