I nodded slowly. “I could do that.”

“The other thing she can do is put you in control of the situation,” Yolanda said.

“You mean like tie her up or something?” I felt the tips of my ears getting pink again. I didn’t mind talking about sex, but I’d just met Yolanda, Juliet was still new to me, and we were talking about a mutual friend for bonus points. I was one square away from an awkwardness bingo.

“That’s one way,” Juliet said matter-of-factly. “But if you’re not into that, just having her let you call the shots until you’re both comfortable might help. Alternately, you can discuss beforehand what’s okay and what’s not—communication will be key.” Juliet paused, putting a hand on my arm. “She might still think that any underlying attraction is a byproduct of the link. Ultimately, you and Lou need to discuss it and decide on whether you trust your own judgments or not. No one else can tell you, nor should they.”

“Except the Tribunal,” I grumbled. “Sleeping with me might endanger Lou’s license, right?”

Yolanda stopped me. “I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a specific law against it, but the Tribunal might—if they found out—look poorly on Lou because of it. The only thing you can do is talk it out with Lou. Decide amongst yourselves. But know that your support system is here for you.”

We walked in silence for a minute as I mulled that over, heading back toward the playground. I wondered how differently all this would have gone I hadn’t needed the bond with Lou to block Eva. I would have had time to get to know her slowly. Take her on a date. Learning each other gradually, to see if we suited. Having the time to decide which role fit better—friend or partner.

Possibly more.

Shapeshifters were picky about mating—we had to find someone that pleased both halves of ourselves. The wolf had to choose and so did I—the bond couldn’t just happen. It was important, and something we held almost sacred.

One of the fucked-up things my dad did was take control of the pairing process. He couldn’t force them to mate, but he matched up shifters in his pack all the same, creating pairings that would benefit him. Would build his empire. Not because they were suited. It was a perversion of our beliefs on a basic level. When the news had broken on our pack, it was a toss-up for what horrified the shifter community more—what they’d done to me, or what had been done creating those pairings.

Some of them had quietly dissolved their marriages after the fact, free to go look for their true mates once it was done. Some…well, they were so far gone on my father’s poison that they believed he knew best. It wasn’t a recipe for happiness for anyone.

Lou being careful about us was frustrating, but it was kind of…sweet. That she gave a shit. It felt like getting the keys to myself back, in a way. I just needed to figure out how to make Lou understand that this was what I wanted.