She clasped her hands together when she finished, her smile wide. “I think we’ve done enough for today.” Her smiled dimmed a little as she watched me. “Unless there was something else?”

I could feel my ears get hot as I tried to figure out how I wanted to bring up the last topic. Juliet caught the look on my face and guffawed. For someone so tiny, her laugh was awfully loud.

“The look on your face!”

I grumbled.

She nudged me with her shoulder. “Look, you don’t have to say anything in front of me if you don’t want to—I can wander over to the playground. I’m here as support. That’s it.”

“No, stay.” I went to rub the back of my neck and stopped at the last second—Will would have a fit if I touched my new piercings. “Mama Ami has been checking the bond. On that end, we’re doing well. It’s growing stronger, and like I said, we’ve already blocked Eva a second time.” Every day I felt a little bit closer to Lou, my understanding of her slightly clearer, like she was a fuzzy picture coming into focus. “We’re both doing our best.”

“I’m sure you are,” Yolanda said. “But obviously something is bothering you.”

I shrugged, digging my hands deep into my pockets. “I feel guilty how much this has changed Lou’s life, but other than that, we’re coping.”

Yolanda waited for me to continue, doling out patient silence with ease.

I was torn on this—should I keep it to myself? Of course, therapy was no use if you weren’t open with your therapist. Keeping stuff back only hurt you in the long run. The mess of the last month or two had really highlighted a few things for me. I’d been doing well for a while, but I needed to work on some things. I didn’t want my past, my upbringing, my dad and stepmom to have a stranglehold on my future.

I liked spending time with Lou. A lot. But we’d need to figure out something soon. This morning I’d woken up with her curled around me, her body flush against mine, my hand possessively on her ass. Her skin had smelled so good, my mouth had actually watered. I’d slid out of bed and took a very cold shower. Which didn’t really work, by the way, and besides, cold showers sucked. If I jerked off any more than I already was, I’d strain my wrist.

“We do have a…” I struggled for a few seconds to find the best words. It turned out all the words had left my brain the second I’d started thinking about this morning. “There is a certain…” I threw Juliet and Yolanda a beseeching look. As a therapist, Yolanda would try to make me say the words myself, but maybe if I looked particularly pathetic…

They didn’t fall for it.

I gusted out a sigh. “I’m a poison cookie.” Which didn’t clear anything up at all, so I briefly explained to them Lou’s concerns.